5 Ways to Pray with Your Kid During Crisis

Experts tell us how to talk to our children during traumatic times. They advise us to allay their fears, make them feel safe. We have all read that we should explain horrific events in an age-appropriate way, so children understand. But how do we explain the inexplicable?

In the last few months, racially motivated killings have caused the loss of eight lives in Louisiana, Minnesota and Texas—leaving most Americans feeling as though the clock has turned back to 1968. That era was stained the history books with horrible words, pictures, and memories of racial unrest and civil disorder. Most of us never dreamed that our kids would see such atrocities especially since the onset of President Obama’s presidency was touted by some sociologist as the dawn of a “Post-racial America”. The only thing any parent can do is pray. Prayer is one of the best ways to comfort our children at a time like this. Here's how.

“God, please help.”

This simple prayer is as good a place to start as any. Whether you are an ardent prayer warrior, with set daily devotional times, or a lapsed believer fumbling for words—keep it simple. Prayer is an act of humility. The words and the disposition of your heart say: “I need help. I can’t handle this one alone.” We all know that children are impressionable. They follow our lead even in spiritual things.

God hates hypocrisy. This is one of Jesus’s pet peeves. He often spoke sternly to hypocritical religious leaders, calling them out in front of huge crowds. Guess what, kids hate hypocrisy too. They disconnect when adults say one thing and do another. That is why if a short prayer is the only one you feel comfortable sharing; then keep it short. Your sincerity will go a long way in the mind of your child. The effectiveness of prayer is not measured by length; it’s measured by the result—answered prayers.

Remove All Excuses

Just consider for a moment, Mary and Joseph had every legitimate reason to shy away from trying to influence the spiritual formation of Jesus. Even as a child, this was THE Savior of the world. He was God incarnate. How in the world could two flawed, imperfect people dare try to shape Jesus’s spiritual life? But they did! As parents, Mary and Joseph created a certain home environment, family culture, and expectation about Jesus. Joseph was a carpenter (Matt. 13:55). Jesus became a carpenter (Mark 6:3). Jewish boys, in those days, went into the same line of business as their father. Mary and Joseph faithfully observed the Jewish feasts and high holy days. In fact, on one annual trip to Jerusalem to celebrate the Feast of the Passover (Luke 2:41), Jesus at twelve years old remained behind to pray and attend to His “Father’s house.” If flawed Mary and Joseph can create an atmosphere in the home conducive for Jesus to fulfill His mission as a suffering Savior, you can certainly create a family atmosphere for your child to learn how to pray. You must get rid of all of your excuses, however.

Focus on the Heart

Get out of your head. Even if you haven’t been the best spiritual model yourself thus far, there is no need to feel inadequate or ashamed. There is no time like now to call on God. Before you begin to pray with your child, take some time to ask God for His grace. You will discover wisdom from above that will guide you throughout the many seasons parenting. You are not on your own. God’s got you—as long as you seek Him. Your child will follow suit if you stay the spiritual course. Your main objective is not to be clever or eloquent. The mere act of praying together is helping your child to learn how to rely on the Lord. Use this time to help them understand their innocence and sincerity, combined with faith, have God’s ear. In other words, God listens to hearts not words.

Limit the Teachable Moment

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This is not the time for a long discussion about the importance of prayer. Lectures are a turnoff to children and adults. Create a conversational mood so that the moment lends itself to building relationships. Lectures are cold. Materials go for the head. Conversations aimed at building relationships go for the heart. They increase the stickiness between parent and child. Teachable moments are unforgettable because they happen organically through the normal course of life.

Without sounding like a staunch academic, lovingly convey that, “we are connecting to the power of God almighty and putting our faith in Him.” Remember that the best moments are just that—moments. Resist the urge to yammer on and on. The teaching moment is for your children, not you. These moments are not lectures. If you’re too longwinded your child will tune out.

Instill the Value of Relationship

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You really can’t have faith in God without a relationship with Him. That sounds obvious, but a lot of people ignore this simple truth. Don’t be one of them and don’t confuse your kids. Even if you wouldn’t necessarily label yourself “the praying kind,” you can start anew. Be sure you’re not giving your children the impression that we should look to God and ask Him to simply do our bidding or call on Him only during hard times. As awful as the recent tragedies have been, this can also begin a fresh chapter in your life and the lives of your kids. Remember, children are very observant. They can learn more by what they see and not just what they hear. Let them see you in prayer—regularly. It must be genuine. Start your day on bended knees. It is a sign of incredible strength, not weakness. Dads stand tallest when they are on their knees before a holy God. Moms do too.

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