The Social Media Abuser
Just one more arena I’m found eating my words. Before shedding my inner-luddite and joining Facebook, I would sit in sheer amazement at my mom friends’ clear loss of senses. Posting photos of your kids’ milestones, accomplishments and especially cute moments is acceptable of course. If ‘lil Aiden got a Cub Scouts award, then darnit, the world should know about it. What I could not comprehend, however, were parents who posted their child’s every waking moment on the World Wide Web. Ten consecutive pictures of your one-year old sleeping is not a FB update, it’s an abuse of technology, and while we’re at it, so is the daily photo spread of your perfectly homemade school lunches. I always want to Instagram my sad lineup of Luncheables in response, with the post “Done! Time for pinot!” I know I’d get more likes. But alas, I’ve found myself guilty of this annoying habit, to a degree. It’s just so tempting, when gazing at your child’s perfect chubby cheeks-this is definitely post material.
I’ve slowly become the parent I swore I’d never be, trolling after my kids through the park with my thumb hovering over ‘record,’ like the paparazzi following Kim K. “One more time down the slide, looking at mommy this time!” Most people understand your judgment is clouded by fecal fumes and first-time parent delusion. But parents-to-be, know this: No one. Not your bestie, not your closest co-worker, and most certainly anyone on your Twitter feed gives flying money about your kid’s letter recognition skills. Trust.