5 Dynamics That Signal Your Child is Dealing With Anxiety or Stress By Christine Agro

5 Areas To Watch

As your kids head back into the school year, be on the lookout for these five dynamics that might just be signaling that they need a little more support, insight, or help in managing their back-to-school energies.

· Unusually Quiet – If your notice that your child is more reserved and introspective, they may be trying to process their upcoming back-to-school experience. The problem with this is that the mind can manifest a great deal of scenarios when it’s left on its own.

· Unusually Argumentative – Stress and anxiety makes us edgy and our kids are no different. If your child is demonstrating being unusually argumentative, it may be connected to their unspoken concerns about going back to school.

· Unusually Angry- Internalized fear can flash out as anger.

· Unusually Resistant - The uncertainty or apprehension about returning to school can turn an otherwise easy going child into one who digs their feet in and resists you at every turn.

· Complaining of stomachaches or headaches – When a child internalizes stress it may result in stomachaches or headaches. If you don’t suspect a bug, it may be back-to-school anxiety.

Each of these examples maybe be signs that our child is trying to manage their back-to-school feelings.

Direct & Indirect Approaches

There are two approaches for this direct and indirect; you can try whichever resonates with you.

Direct: Especially if your child is used to having heart-to-hearts with you, take a moment to bring up the topic of back-to-school. Don’t do it while your child is in the middle of acting out, wait until you are in an easy space – maybe driving, or during family dinner. Sometimes kids can’t connect their behavior to their emotional reactions, so they might not first be able to link the two together. Mention what you’ve been noticing and question where it might be linked to going back to school.

Indirect: If your child isn’t used to heart-to-hearts like this, rather than put a spot light on them, find some time to casually start a conversation about back-to-school. You may talk about how you felt when it was back-to-school time mentioning the mix of excitement and anxiety. Then see if you can find out how your child is feeling about back-to-school too. Just starting the conversation will let your child know that you are paying attention and that you want to help.

Anxiety

If your child is experiencing anxiety, worry or fear it gives you a great opportunity to talk about ways to manage these energies and the negative health effects repressing them can cause. There are two simple tools to teach your child and the earlier they learn to use these, the greater ability they will have to manage their own emotions as they get older.

Breathing – by teaching your child to take slow, deep cleansing breaths, they will learn that it is in their own power to manage the thoughts and feelings they experience, rather then feeling helpless or out of control.

Releasing – not many kids are taught to release energies but if they were, as adults there would be less stress, anxiety and gastrointestinal issues. We are taught to repress, or push down what we are feeling, usually not intentionally, but it happens. ‘Don’t cry.’ ‘Suck it up’, ‘Be a big girl.’ We don’t want our kids to be ruled by their emotions so we try to get them to dismiss them, the problem is, they don’t dismiss them, the repress them. Teach your children to envision a big bubble that they can blow the energies out into – fear, anxiety, confusion, anger – whatever they me be. The bubble works wonders and it’s a tool they will have for life.