Embracing the Moments of Motherhood l Joys of Being a Mom

This is for the mom who is racing to make it out the door in the morning when her toddler is having a tantrum because they can't have the iPhone or television remote to chew on. This is for the stressed our working mother who should receive an Oscar for smiling when in truth she wants to cry in her coffee. Oh, and this is for the gal who discovered she forgot to brush her hair and to put on deodorant before work because getting dressed was the priority. Parenthood is one of the most psychologically challenging things to endure. There are the joys, but helplessness, anxiety, depression and the stress can send many moms over the edge. Approximately 12 million women in the United States experience clinical depression each year and parental depression is on the rise among moms, especially stay-at-home moms at every income level. Gallup found stay-at-home moms are "Worse off than employed moms in terms of sadness, anger, and depression, though they are the same as other women in most other aspects of emotional well-being." About 70 percent of moms admitted they were stressed out and this is a predictor of how happy her children will be. Here are 6 de-stressors you can do now to embrace the good and the distressed times of motherhood.

Know the Signs of Stress

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Start identifying the common signs of stress. Some things to look for are having an upset stomach, including diarrhea and constipation. There can be stretches of insomnia and broken sleep which makes stress worse. Physically you may be exhausted, even with a decent amount of sleep. There could be periods of chest pains, hives and muscle aches. You may become sicker and may become predisposed to infections because the immune system is yielding to the emotional exertion. Outside of spending time with the kids, you're starting to avoid people altogether. You can't enjoy life if stress in holding you hostage. If you feel this is a perpetual cycle of your life, find assistance. Community groups, churches and schools often provide counseling and support groups to help people. Don't languish in taciturnity.

Accept Uncertainty

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Take a moment each day and understand your hard work doesn’t go unrecognized. They can't voice it, but your children appreciate when you help them learn something, take them out for ice cream or how you taught them to ice skate and to ride a bike. Next time you feel overwhelmed, know you are a fierce overcomer. We need to discard perfection immediately and enter into the realization that nothing is foolproof. "The fastest way to break the cycle of perfectionism and become a fearless mother is to give up the idea of doing it perfectly - indeed to embrace uncertainty," author Arianna Huffington said. Succumbing to the idea you are not a good enough mother is rubbish and a lie to divert from what is important. Sometimes we need to accept ambiguity.

Find a Balance

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Take a day off when you feel sick or hire a babysitter for the afternoon to find perspective. Seek a balance between home life and in your private life as this will enable you to breathe. Let everyone in your family know if you need time to yourself and take a moment to decompress. Author Rebecca Lammersen wrote about our shortcoming and frailties as humans, not just as moms. "Part of being myself is accepting my humanness--my thoughts of discontent, the guilt, the worry, the feelings of failure mixed with my desire to fulfill my dreams. All of these feelings are natural," she offered. Your imperfections are actually perfections in the making, but you need time off the mommy clock to rediscover this. Not everyone is the Proverbs 31 woman or Carol Brady. Sometimes we're more like Frankie Heck from "The Middle."

Spend Quality Time Together

If everyone in the house needs to let off steam go for a walk, swim, play hoops, play soccer or go for a bike ride. Research shows exercise keeps stress at bay and this creates new mommy moments to embrace. Exercise can also be used as family time because everyone has to communicate with each other and work as a team. Consider taking a day trip or plan a vacation together. Assign each family member with a task. One can be the photographer, another a social media expert and a person could keep a journal of the vacation for the family scrapbook. Be mindful things won't go 100 percent as you first envisioned it. This picture could entail some disagreements, tantrums and other numerous obstructions. These are the moments of motherhood we dislike, but we can still take value in them.

Give Up Perfection

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The to-do list is full of things like making pediatrician appointments, cooking, cleaning, scheduling play dates and getting baths done. Well, guess what? If something doesn't get done, who cares? Instead of storming around the house chores are not getting done, start talking to your child or hang out and play with them in their room for 15 minutes. Next time you feel overwhelmed, remember you can't do it all. Fight perfectionism in a Pinterest mom world by dropping the mom-fail label. Kids pick up on this and we don't want them to base their satisfaction on achievement. “It’s very important for a kid to see mom being kind to herself, being moderate, instead of being all or nothing," Julia Bosson, a licensed clinical psychologist in New York City told the Washington Post.

Change Your Perception

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You need to know embracing motherhood takes more time for some people. Everyone is different and people process change differently. This doesn't make you a bad person. However, if you need to reach out, don't be ashamed to vent. When we start seeing the gray in areas, it will help us loosen up and actually appreciate the journey more. Remember the hugs, kisses and funny facial expressions to carry you through the not-so-great moments. This can only happen if you start changing your mindset and start repudiating all the toxic thoughts coming into your mental space. You can read all the parenting books and articles you want, but unless you adjust your viewpoint, things will remain the same and this adds to the stress already being felt. The change won't happen instantaneously, but as you begin filtering thoughts more, you become the gatekeeper of your destiny.

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