8 Milestones that Your Children Need to Reach l Tips to Raise Good Kids l Milestones for Kids

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Most American parents focus on social development, cognitive growth and academic development. They are keenly invested in their child becoming No. 1 in school and in sports. There is nothing wrong with this, but research is increasingly showing that adults are sending the wrong messages to children. Harvard found during a study that kids are being taught the wrong values. “About 80 percent of the youth in our survey report that their parents are more concerned about achievement or happiness than caring for others.” The message of achievement has overshadowed being a good person. Society is reliant on future generations to take the reins to care for the community and to care for their fellow man. If we are producing children who are selfish, self-involved and cruel, the future is bleak. We can help kids reach healthy milestones so they will become a shining light. Here are 8 milestones that your kids need to reach.

Understanding Hard Work

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Don’t aim for perfection, but teach kids that effort matters as well. This is an important attribute to cultivate and is a marvelous milestone for a child to reach. If a kid only gets approval when they achieve something in sports or school, they will learn that it is the only way. Culture wields this weapon and society allows it. Perfection is dangerous for kids as they believe nothing will be good enough. Nip that in the bud. “Excellence still sets the bar high, but it never connects failure with the love you give your children or the love they give themselves," Dr. Jim Taylor wrote in Psychology Today. If we teach kids that perfection is the only answer, they will develop unhealthy expectations.

Becoming Independent Thinkers

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Encourage independent thought as it allows kids to know you are considering their perspective and it builds self-esteem. Children need to know that their voice matters and how their beliefs can influence the world in a positive way or negative way. You can do this by asking what their opinion is and reinforce that their viewpoint is important. For example, you can ask them for their opinion if they like the red dress or the blue dress. This makes them feel involved and that you care about their opinions. They will learn to become more accountable for their opinions when they become adults if they feel a liberty to share their thoughts now.

Celebrating Diversity

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We want our kids to tolerate others and to be open minded when it comes to diversity. Explain that not all people are the same and that is why we celebrate differences in tastes, religion and in culture. The Children's Trust suggested to talk to kids about what makes them different and discuss what has helped or what has hurt them by being different. There are plenty of examples that we can get from the news and from the movies regarding the subject of diversity. You can discuss how certain groups have been stereotyped in history and the fights that take place today. "Look for everyday activities that can serve as springboards for discussion. School-age children respond better to lessons that involve real-life examples than to artificial or staged discussions about issues," Children's Trust shared.

Accepting Failure

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This is going against the grain as a parent, but you need to let your kid fail sometimes in life. The reason is that it will teach them critical thinking skills and help them cope when life gets tough. This is a milestone that is often not encouraged by parents and they end up over parenting. Jessica Lahey has authored the book The Gift of Failure and explained that keeping kids protected all the time is counterproductive. “Kids are anxious, afraid and risk-averse because parents are more focused on keeping their children safe, content and happy in the moment than on parenting for competence." We can't shelter our kids from everything. If we do, we are doing them a great disservice.