7 Traits of a Strong Father

Shutterstock.com

Many things go into the making of a good father, but there are a few traits that stand out above the rest. These are the aspects of a man’s personality that allow him to make a positive difference in his child’s life, to be a pillar of support, love, and guidance, and to have the fortitude to not grudgingly endure fatherhood, but to love and commit to every moment of it.

Unfortunately, good fathers are a thing we lack right now. Too many men have warped ideas of what it means to be a father, and abandon their families when they feel they can’t live up to the title—according to the U.S. Census Bureau, 24 million American children live without their biological father in their home.

That’s 1 out of 3 kids. And according to the National Fatherhood Initiative, those kids have four times the risk of poverty, when compared to homes where fathers remain. They’re more likely to have behaviorial problems. They’re more likely to drop out of school. They suffer.

We need strong fathers. So whether you’re dating and would like to learn how to spot men with the potential to be a great father, or if you’re a man who desires to cultivates those traits within yourself, take a look at these 7 traits of a strong father, and learn what it means to truly take on the role of dad.

Patience

For a father, patience is essential.

A father will inevitably face challenges from his relationship, from his children, and even from himself. He will be tested. He will have to do things both noble and lowly. And he must be able to endure it all without giving up.

The truth is that fatherhood isn’t always fun. In fact, it’s downright difficult. Children constantly test boundaries from the time they can say “No,” to the time they move out. Partners disagree with major life choices or make their own mistakes.

But what breaks fathers more than anything is a lack of patience with the self. Many men place the title of “father” on a pedestal, leaving no room for their own humanity. They feel unworthy to be dad. This is because of any number of reasons—they feel they don’t earn enough, that they’re inadequate, that they’re not perfect enough.

Whatever the reason, the result is often the same—fathers with a lack of patience pull away, abandoning their families.

But fathers who practice patience have staying power, and don’t waver when things get hard. This is one attribute dads can’t do without.

He's Moral

The second attribute that all fathers need is a deeply grounded sense of morality.

This simply means that his decisions are rooted in something greater than himself—he looks to something higher. He’s selfless. He’s righteous. He knows the difference between good and evil, and can deftly navigate the shades of gray between them.

This sense of morality is what will guide him when temptation arises—when another woman’s eyes linger on him a little too long, when money is short and his workplace credit card is burning a hole in his pocket, when his child makes him angry enough to lash out.

The moral man will know what to do in each of these situations—there will be no doubt as to which is the correct path.

Temptation will always be there. We’re only human, after all. But having a strong moral compass that does not bend or break helps make a man the best father he can be.

He's Open-Minded

An open-minded man makes for a thriving family.

Some men have the wrong idea of what fatherhood really is. They think it’s about control. They think it’s about power or dominance or strength. They think it’s about imposing upon their family their own single-minded vision of what should and should not be

They are wrong.

The open-minded man accepts that his family members are a diverse bunch, and admire the differences between them. He is teachable, and rather than rejecting what is different in his family, he happily learns from them.

This means, for example, that when his child chooses a liberal arts education over the military, or vice-versa, he’s happy for him or her, despite his own preferences. This means that when his wife decides she wants to begin her career, he encourages her to follow her dream, even if he wants to be the sole breadwinner.

This doesn’t mean that he isn’t rational that he makes poor leadership decisions. This simply means that he is open to the new, to the different, to possibility.

An open-minded father allows his family a safe place in which they can explore their own dreams, desires, and personalities, and in which they can fully be themselves.

This trait makes for a wonderfully happy home.

He's Loving

Ask people everywhere what they wish their fathers had done better, and you’ll likely hear this.

“I wish he had shown his love more often.”

The lack of emotional intelligence—also known as EQ—in many men is a problem. Although this has been improving in recent years, the harsh lessons of conventional masculinity teaches men to, at best, hide the highs and lows of their emotions, or at worst, transmute it into anger.

But for fathers, consistently showing affection and love are vital. Emotional honesty and intimacy are rare treasures in a dad, both for his children and his partner. Fathers who show more

Looking at data from the U.S. Census Bureau, children who have loving, expressive, involved fathers are much likelier to do well in school, develop empathy, and avoid risky behaviors. And what’s more, these children are simply happier. They feel safe. They feel unconditionally loved. That’s important.

The spouse of a loving father also receives these benefits, and marriages thrive when both partners are able to express their love for one another.

It’s obvious that being unabashedly and openly loving is a prime trait of a good father.

He's Loyal

Loyalty is the trait that keeps families together in the hardest of times. A loyal father is one that can be trusted to be there today, tomorrow, and forever.

This is about the ability to commit. A step forward from mere patience, loyalty is the ability to consistently stick by your choices, no matter the cost.

And when a man makes the choice to become a father, a strong sense of loyalty becomes vital. This doesn’t just mean a father physically stays with his family. Loyalty means much more than that.

It means standing up for your family when others attack them or when life events lay them low. It means being there for them—keeping your commitment to ensuring the welfare of your children and spouses. And it means being consistent in all of these things.

Loyal fathers don’t place work or recreation or friendships above their families. They put family first, and the result is a strong household that will not break beneath even the most violent of storms.

He's Honest

Honesty is hard to come by in anyone, but to be a good father, this trait is a must.

Relationships are built on trust. This includes the relationship between father and spouse, as well as that between father and child. Honesty creates a sense of safety—when everyone can trust that dad’s word is his bond, they know that they can go to him for anything, and that they can trust him to do what he says he will do.

Dishonesty is the bane of closeness—you cannot develop an intimate relationship with someone who misrepresents themselves. And so honesty in all things encourages strong familial bonds.

Honesty isn’t just about telling the truth. It’s also about keeping promises. If you say you’re going to be at your son’s recital, be there. If you promise your spouse a date night on Thursday evening, make it happen. This lets a father’s family know that they can depend on him for anything, making honesty an extremely valuable trait.

He Leads by Example

Last of all, one of the most-needed traits of any parent is the ability to lead by example.

The father is the co-leader of the family unit, and is often considered the head of the house. What he does, and what he shows to be permissible through his own choices, everyone else will do. That’s why it’s vitally important that fathers lead by example.

This means putting into action all of the traits on this list. It means being loving, honest, loyal, open-minded, moral, and patient. No one can be perfect, but if a father is able to visibly act in these ways, he’ll plant the seeds of these traits in his children, and they’ll one day do the same with their own kids.

Leading by example provides what every good father should be—a role model. The world is built on nations, nations are built on communities, communities are built on families, and families take their cues from the strong role models within their ranks.

This means that if a father consistently makes harmful choices, his children may take the same path, and through them, will negatively affect the world.

But if fathers begin making the right choices, and if they begin modeling good behavior and the wonderful effects this creates, he puts goodness out into the world.

And what’s more, his family will be happier and more stable beneath his guidance.