As parents, we're bound to make several mistakes throughout our children's lives. We can't expect to be perfect, but some things are more important to get right than others. One of the things we should strive towards most as Christian parents is fostering our children's faith.
Many well-meaning Christian parents unintentionally push their children away from God instead of toward him.
We can encourage our children to grow in their faith by avoiding these common mistakes made in Christian households.
Rules Without Reason
While "because I said so" is sometimes the only fitting response to your child's 500th question of "Why?" during the day, it doesn't quite work when establishing Bible-based morals. A long list of rules without Scriptural backing can quickly turn a child away from Christ.
"Dress modestly."
"No sex before marriage."
"Don't swear!"
"Tithe to the church."
"Don't overindulge in alcohol."
"Love your enemies."
Don't sell your children short when it comes to spiritual knowledge. Help them understand the reasoning behind the morals and rules that you hold.
Dig into scripture together and get to the root of why these things are important for Christ-followers. Otherwise, they won't understand the value of these morals and won't hesitate to go against them behind your back or abandon these beliefs when they get out on their own.Perfection Pretense
It's hard to admit when we're wrong, especially to our children. However, one of the worst things we can do is put on a front that we're "perfect." This can create 2 types of problems: unreasonable expectations for themselves and a hypocritical view of you.
If they see you acting like you have it all together and are the perfect Christian, they might feel pressure to meet an unreasonable standard of perfection. Meaning that when they mess up, they'll be afraid to tell you or might question Christianity altogether, thinking it's not worth the effort just to fail.
Alternatively, if you don't own up to your mistakes, it doesn't mean your children don't see them. If you fail to recognize and acknowledge when you're wrong, your kids will pick up on this and see it as hypocritical. Please teach your children about accountability, repentance, and God's grace.
Own up when your humanity gets the best of you and acknowledge your sin. Show your child how to admit mistakes, ask for forgiveness, and strive to do better.
Topic Avoidance
"Ignorance is Bliss," right? Maybe temporarily…but everything comes out eventually.
Yes, there's value in protecting your children from unnecessary overwhelm by avoiding overly mature topics while they're young. It may be best to hold off on discussing certain things, but not forever.
Your child is going to ask you uncomfortable questions. Shutting them down is only going to make them seek answers elsewhere. The world is eager to give your children endless information on any topic you can imagine.
Keep communication open, even when it feels awkward. You want your children to come to you when they have questions so that you can point them to scripture with your answers.
Apathetic Approach to Church
Is church a priority or an option in your family? For Christians, church shouldn't just be another thing you might end up doing over the weekend if you feel like it. It should be the standard. "It's Sunday, so we're going to church."
Your children will have families of their own someday, and their childhood experience will deeply shape their view of church. This means making church a habit and cultivating a positive attitude toward it.
Sundays are a time when we get to be in the house of God, with our family of other believers, growing our faith, building community, and worshipping the Lord as one body… It's a mini glimpse of heaven!
Extreme Political Allegiance
Having open conversations about politics with your kids is important, especially as they get older and start hearing about it constantly. However, we have to be careful that we don't esteem any specific politician or political party too highly.
No person running for office is going to be perfect. Our only undying allegiance in this life should be to God.
When we seek wisdom on tough voting decisions, we should turn to God's Word and support the candidate or measure that most aligns with Scripture-based morals.
Our kids also need to see that not everything in life is black and white and that we can love and respect people with different views while holding our own Biblical convictions.
Lack of Discipleship
Are you teaching your kids about Christ within the walls of your home?
We can't leave it to Sunday school alone to teach our kids the truth about scripture. We should be reading the Bible with them, discussing the passages, and welcoming questions.
Our home should be a place where we can learn and grow in Christ together as a family. We need to encourage our kids to develop their own relationships with God so that they become deeply rooted in Him and not just hold onto the coattails of our faith.
Faith Without Action
Are you a Christian household implementing your faith into every part of your life? Or are you a household that goes to church on Sundays but hardly acknowledges the presence of Christ on a daily basis?
When trying to teach our kids about the Bible, we need to show them that it's not just something we acknowledge we believe in but something our entire lives are based on.
With as many outward influences in our world today vying for their attention, I guarantee that lukewarm Christianity is not going to stick with your kids. You have to ignite that flame and encourage it to continue to grow.
They need to see our examples of spending daily time in the Word and praying together as a family. God should be a central part of our daily conversations, not just at church or in Bible studies.
Lack of Boundaries
Just as setting too strict of rules without explanation can push a child away, the opposite can also do so. While we need to offer grace, we can't look the other way toward sin.
As children, they might love freedom, but kids need healthy boundaries and well-established morals.
In our "live and let live" world, it's more crucial than ever that we teach our kids about right and wrong. We need to give them a firm grasp that sin is not determined by what society deems as appropriate or just because Mom and Dad say so… it is outlined in God's Word.
We're not going to get everything right as parents—but that doesn't mean we give up trying. Fostering our children's faith is one of the most important callings we've been given, and it requires intentionality, humility, and a lot of grace.
By being aware of the common pitfalls and making small, steady changes, we can create homes where faith is alive and growing. Let's be the kind of parents who point our kids to Jesus not just with our words but with our actions, our love, and our everyday lives. The seeds we plant now could be the very ones that anchor their faith for a lifetime.
