Do you ever feel yourself second-guessing yourself as a parent? If so, you’re not alone. With the countless pieces of advice available, knowing how to parent your children can be puzzling. Fortunately, the guesswork is removed when we rely on the Bible to guide us and God to counsel us.
Parents don’t have to rely on social media for advice, but when you do, you can test it in the light of God’s truth and know what’s best for your family. Here are some reasons to stop second-guessing yourself as a parent and trust that God has your back.
You put God first.
When you have your first baby, your affections get mixed up. You’ll start loving your child more than your spouse and more than God. It can take a while to realign your heart with the Bible’s greatest commandment, to love God with all your heart and love others as you love yourself. Once you allow God to be back in the number one spot, your role as a parent will become more apparent.
The clarity you have when you put God first is a reason to stop second-guessing your parenting. When God created us, He ordained a holy order, and when we live according to His design, everything in life is brought into focus, including parenting. If you’ve misplaced your affection, God is one prayer away from restoring your heart to His; all it takes is a genuine petition for help, and He’ll give it. Parenting becomes clear when God is in His rightful place in your life. Every decision comes from what He tells you by His word and spirit. There’s no second-guessing when He is first and foremost.
You’re aligned with your spouse.
If you and your spouse agree regarding parenting, thank the Lord. Parents unified in parenting provide a sense of accountability, consistency, and security. A unified front with God first, then each other, gives parents the confidence to make decisions for their families without second-guessing themselves. You can raise your children with a clear purpose and plan that honors God and each other.
Your children will see your solidarity and mimic their parenting style after yours when they have children one day. Please don’t underestimate the value of agreeing in parenthood, and it’s something to recognize and appreciate as a powerhouse of strength in a world of division.
You know your child’s needs.
Have you heard the phrase, “When you know in your knower?” The message behind it, coined by Christian business coach Jennifer Allwood, is you don’t have to second-guess yourself when you know something to be true in your heart. For Christians, the “knower” is the Holy Spirit within them.
When Christians commit to Christ, the Holy Spirit comes to live in them, leading them in the way they should go. God gave your child to you for a specific reason, and you know your child better than anyone. You know how they feel, act, and think. When a problem develops, you know best how they’ll respond. Trying new things that don’t fit your child’s learning style or personality isn’t always favorable, so use your parenting superpower and allow the Holy Spirit to lead you.
You listen to trusted mentors.
If you don’t have a trusted mentor, it may be best to find one soon. Even someone a few steps ahead of you on the parenting trail can give wisdom and insight on moving forward. For example, your mentor could tell you that you’re not always responsible for everything and everyone, and you may not believe them. At one time in your life, you thought it was your job to be everything to everyone. However, after a few meetings with your mentor, you’ll learn practical and spiritual tools to help you gain your footing.
When you listen to trusted mentors to lead you on your parenting expedition, you’re setting yourself up with the wisdom and tools needed. There’s no second-guessing yourself when you have a supportive network.
You see the world’s falsehoods.
Have you ever had a bag of apples in your pantry, but one was rotten? The smell is awful. The world’s falsehoods stink but can sometimes be challenging to detect. The lie might be hidden under good-sounding advice, like the rotten apple at the bottom of the bag. When you clearly see the world’s falsehoods, you’ll stop second-guessing yourself and stand strong on your truth. This approach isn’t prideful, but discerning and discernment in parenting go a long way.
Remember to test everything in the Bible’s light. If it doesn’t match up, you’ll know it’s something that shouldn’t be discarded, a sentiment echoed in 1 Thessalonians 5:21-22. This verse reminds us to hold on to things that are good and stay away from every form of evil. God’s truth doesn’t change and stands the test of time. You can spot falsehoods in the Bible’s light no matter what parenting trends come and go. You can parent your child according to the Lord’s loving standards.
You walk in the spirit.
As mentioned, the Holy Spirit lives in us as our guide and counselor. He reminds us of everything Jesus taught, giving us direction for life. When we walk in the spirit, we forsake our opinions and desires in favor of God’s truth. Running ahead or falling behind can be easy, but parenting decisions become more apparent when you remain in step with God.
There’s no reason to second-guess yourself when God leads. You can move forward with reassurance and faith that God is with you every step of the way. God’s voice may be small and still, but it’s clear. God will always advise you according to His will and lead you according to what He feels is best for you. It would be best to parent your children by walking in the characteristics of the Holy Spirit, which are joy, peace, love, goodness, patience, and self-control. Galatians 5:22-23 reminds us that there’s no law against such things.
Parenting can be challenging, especially with so many different opinions. However, remember that God is the source of our wisdom, so you should turn to Him with all your parenting concerns.