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In the early school years, children need rules in order to work well in groups. During free play, kids may prefer to play with one best friend and may exclude other children from games because they have trouble relating to more than one playmate at a time.

As their friendships deepen, children learn that the causes and cures of sad feelings can be complex. Subtle slights, such as sitting with someone else at lunch, can hurt a friend's feelings, and simple solutions (handing her a toy) no longer work.

	Parenting Tips  Suggest that kids put themselves in another's place when figuring out what might make the other child feel better.  Explain the unseen reasons why a child or sibling might be upset. "Sam's game was cancelled, and now he's disappointed."  Help your child think of others: "Look at Tanya's face. See how sad she is? Can you think of anything that would help her feel better?" What's the Goal? To teach children that there may be other reasons for feelings than those they directly witness.

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Choose a new Family Values Toolkit Page:

Select a Value: Empathy Honesty Compassion Frugality

Select an Age: Birth to 2 3 to 4 5 to 7 8 to 12 13 to 15 16+

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	Feelings Collage

	Materials: Old magazines, heavy paper, glue, scissors, pens  First look through magazines with your child and identify together how people in the photographs are feeling.  Then help your child cut the pictures out and glue them on heavy paper.  Help your child label the feeling under each photo.  Then talk about a time you experienced one of the feelings shown.

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Picture Books

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Celia and the Sweet, Sweet Water
by Katherine Paterson, Vladimir Vagin (Illustrator) Houghton Mifflin Co; September 1998; hardcover, 32 pages
ISBN: 0395913241 ; List Price: $15.00
While journeying to find a remedy for her mother's illness, Celia and her grumpy dog Brumble encounter strange and threatening characters who have never known kindness.

The Christmas Angel (North-South Paperback)
by Pirkko Vainio, Anthea Bell (Translator)
North South Books; October 1997; paperback, 32 pages
ISBN: 1558587748 ; List Price: $6.95
Searching for decorations in the attic, Maria finds a china music box figurine that looks like a wingless angel, and her grandmother tells her that angels must earn their wings by performing good deeds.

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Videotapes

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Veggie Tales: The End of Silliness?
The wacky singing veggies are back! This time a melancholy Larry the Cucumber needs cheering up. His favorite part of every show was "Silly Songs with Larry" and now he's been abruptly dismissed. A batch of consoling songs help. Christian overtones and biblical stories. ($11.49, www.familywonder.com)

Arthur's Eyes
How does it feel when kids call you "four eyes"? Arthur doesn't want to know, but when he can't see the blackboard any longer, he knows he's going to find out. And in "Francine's Bad Hair Day", stylish Muffy does a makeover on the tomboyish Francine. But Francine discovers she'd rather play kickball than have perfect hair. A good lesson in empathy for every child who's been the teaser or the teasee. Look for the books. ($9.49, www.familywonder.com)

You're a Good Man Charlie Brown
Is there a child or adult alive who can't empathize with good ol' Charlie Brown? If so, sit them down with this animated version of the 1967 stage musical, and let them watch Charlie Brown lose the game for his baseball team because he's trying to impress that little red haired girl. ($9.49, www.familywonder.com)

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