When you have a daughter, it can be challenging to gain her trust and respect. Earning your daughter's trust and respect won't happen overnight. It is a process you will need to take your time with and put forth the effort. When you do your best to create a trusting environment for your daughter, she will develop a higher opinion of herself. She will know that she is loved and that her support system is always there for her when she needs them the most! So how do you go about gaining your daughter's trust? Here are some ten tips for gaining your daughter's trust and respect.
1. Give her your full attention.
Whenever possible, make sure she has your undivided attention, especially when she is speaking to you about something important to her. Put away your phone or tablet and look her in the eyes! She needs to know that you value what she has to say and want her to feel comfortable coming to you about anything. She needs you to be her safe place, as well as her confidant and advisor. She also needs zero judgment, as that can be what she fears the most from you. Listen with the intent to understand, not judge. When she shares something with you, let her know that you are listening to her by giving feedback that lets her know this is a safe place to share what's on her mind.
2. Give her privacy.
Don't just give her privacy, also respect it. She should never feel like you're prying information out of her, this helps with building trust. She instead needs to feel comfortable coming to you when she needs to. Let her process things on her own, then be there for her when she is ready. It will make her feel like you care for her. Respect her secrets. She won't want to share every aspect of her life with you. She doesn't always want your motherly advice either. Privacy is a big deal for people of all ages. Whether you're at home, in school, or out with friends, it's essential to have some space away from the world around you. It can be hard as a parent to know how much privacy your daughter needs and when she wants it, but you'll learn over time.
3. Give her space.
This is one of the best pieces of parenting advice for your vault. Don't smother her, but don't ignore her either. If she has a problem with you ignoring her, she will let you know. Then you can adjust the time you spend together. Give her time to herself. She needs that, to process and sort things out. If she wants to be alone, leave her alone. Letting someone go who isn't ready for your support is a sign of strength and maturity. Let her know that you're there when she needs you. Your daughter won't always want you to rush to her aide or solve her problems for her.
4. Listen when she talks.
She doesn't always have to be the one who starts a conversation. You can do that too. But make sure that when she does want to talk about something, you listen and don't jump in with your own opinion. Value the conversations you have so she knows you care. It's okay if the conversation is short or long- it doesn't matter as long as you listen. When she wants to talk about something bothering her, please don't dismiss it and tell her everything will be okay because you can't know what she feels unless you have been in that situation before. Be empathetic by listening and only speaking when needed so the conversation isn't one-sided.
5. Validate her feelings.
Sometimes all a person needs is to know that what they are feeling is ok and expected. Just because she feels something doesn't mean it's not accurate or valid for her. She will appreciate the fact that you care enough to acknowledge her feelings. A simple "I hear you" or "Is that what's happening?" can go a long way. Just saying, "wow, that stinks, I'm sorry that happened," can give her the sense that you are there for her, and it will help her know that she can come to share with you when something happens. Raising daughters is a rocky journey filled with emotions so make sure she knows her feelings are always valued.
6. Value her interests.
Never dismiss her interests as unimportant. What if your daughter wants to play soccer and you want her to learn how to bake? It can be a struggle for many parents, but it doesn't need to be. It's essential to value your daughter's interests and make sure she knows that there is no right or wrong way of doing things. She is entitled to having her own lifestyle. Every daughter is different. They have their interests, hobbies, and passions that they get drawn to. There is no question that your daughter means the world to you, so show her.
7. Lead the initiative to gain her trust.
Please don't wait for your daughter to approach you. She may feel scared or fear judgment. Take baby steps and come to her first, build rapport. Get her to open up by asking about her interests or talking about yours. Share personal anecdotes that pertain to her life. It will create a safe space for her to express herself, and she'll learn that it's okay to be herself around you. Be genuine about your interest in what she cares about because when you tell her what she likes is cool, she knows you mean it. Let your daughter know you accept her for who she is and that you will always be there to support her. Show your affection without judgment or condition. Hear what she has to say without talking down to her or dismissing it as "silly girl talk."
8. Always take her seriously.
If you don't take her seriously, why should she? Your daughter may not feel comfortable coming to you on different matters because she feels like you don't care about her feelings. Don't brush off her concerns or tell her how to feel. If she thinks that you're not taking what she's trying to communicate thoughtfully, then why should she trust you? She may not even bother speaking up at all because she knows you'll never listen. If your daughter grows up never being taken seriously by you, how will she know what kind of power her voice has?
9. Don't overreact when she makes a mistake.
Your daughter will undoubtedly test your limits. Do not react by yelling or punishing her. Instead, use this moment to show her how to handle challenging situations and be her role model. If you feel that she needs to get punished, then tell her that you'll discuss the matter after she's calmed down. Even as a grown woman with busy careers, your daughter still faces some of the same struggles from her childhood years, and she will need to learn how to deal with these issues on her own. You can't always be by her side, so make sure you teach her how to use her words wisely and instill confidence for dealing with the challenges that life will throw her way.
10. Give her a chance.
When she does something wrong and is afraid of disappointing you, she needs to know that this isn't the case. When you tell your daughter that you're not disappointed in her, it means the world. We need to make sure our kids understand how much we love them no matter what they do or say. Remind her there is no disappointment here, just love and admiration for her, and she can accomplish anything she sets her mind on! Kids are always trying to live up to their parent's expectations of them. They want you to be proud of them so severely, and they may even feel like they have not had a chance because they didn't do something you wanted. Don't let this happen! Your daughter needs your support, not your disapproval or disappointment in her. Show her that she still has time with you before she goes off into the world on her own by giving her every opportunity possible. Put your best parenting tips to action and do everything you can to keep your bond strong and close. Your daughter will appreciate your dedication as a parent.
Trust is everything when it comes to raising your daughter. If you want her to listen and do what you say, she must trust that you are looking out for her best interests. It's tough with the generation of social media where they can get anything whenever they want without asking their parents or even talking to them about it first. But you need to get to know her to foster a healthy relationship. There is no question that the relationship you have with your daughter will shape her future. How she feels about herself and how she views people, in general, depends on what she learns from you. If you want to be a good parent, it is crucial to gain your daughter's trust and respect.