How to Talk to Kids About Tragedy

Under the Age of Six

If your child is under the age of 6, by all means protect him or her — limit exposure to media. There’s not much he/she can say about it, and it’s not a good thing to visit these images if he or she doesn't need to see them. The younger your children are, the more abstract you need to be in talking about what has happened, because they don't have an ability to understand the concept of death or the gravity of the situation. But if you have a child who is aware of this — a friend tells him or her on the playground, he or she sees it on the news or on the Internet — and he or she asks questions, you need to be honest, but you don't want to over-share. Answer questions without specifics, and don't go beyond the questions asked.

Eight Years Old to Preteen

If your child is eight to preteen, then answer his/her questions and explain that this is an isolated event and that we, as a country, have the ability to step up security. It’s very important to talk to him/her about being watchful. What makes kids feel really worried and scared is if they feel like they’re helpless. Empower your child with a sense of participation — tell him/her to watch for packages that nobody is around, a bag left that nobody seems to be attending to, and not to approach it but to tell someone in authority. That gives children a sense of empowerment. They say, "Wow. I can be the eyes and ears and be helpful." Then they don’t feel like they’re just out there with nothing to do. It really helps and gives them a sense of participation.