It's Not Personal; it's Pain
Nothing is more hurtful to a grieving individual than having a friend or family member turn on them.
As difficult as it may be to believe, this happens. Someone goes through a traumatic experience, only to find that, as they grieve, someone is offended that they were not consulted or included in the grieving process. Just as bad is when someone seeks attention for what they’re doing to help the grieved individual, or vocally requires credit for their deeds.
It can be easy to resent the attention that a grieving person receives, but please—resist this. If you feel such resentment growing, take your leave. Get away from the situation—this is the best thing you can do for your grieving loved one, if this is the case.
If you find most of your sentences beginning with variations of “I,” try to steer the conversation back to your grieved loved one. And hold off your own stories of personal triumph over pain until invited to share. But above all, become offended and belligerent at their pain, at the attention they receive, or at how they choose to process their grief. It's not personal. It's pain.
After all, one day, this may be you. Will you want someone to resent you for your pain? No—so please examine your intentions before you try to help your grieving loved one.