Grief is as unique as a fingerprint. We all grieve, but we all do so in our own ways. So why is it when someone endures a loss we instantly say, “I know how you feel.” You don’t. You have no idea how that person feels. Death is an inevitable part of life, yet our society has no idea how to handle fellow grievers. Once the funeral is over grievers are treated like second class citizens in a world filled with people who want instant gratification. Perhaps it is because grief forces us to think about our own mortality and that’s just too much to handle for many.
There is a massive gulf separating mourners and the rest of the world. Non grievers think after a few days or maybe weeks and poof you are fine. Unfortunately grief lasts a lifetime, it’s all the love you want to give but can no longer give. Grief is painful, and it is debilitating for many. It is important to talk to your friends and family who are grieving. It is important for people who have not lost someone to say, “I have no idea what you’re going through, but I’m here to listen.” You might say the wrong thing, but what’s worse than saying the wrong thing is not saying anything or doing nothing at all.
Grief changes and rearranges friendships. You never know who will be your rock and who will fade away. It’s important to put aside your fear of saying the wrong thing and really talk to your grieving friends. They need you more than you both of you think.
Here are some suggestions.