This is a note to all dads as a reminder that you all matter. It is a plea to those who believe that the mother is the main source to meet a child's psychological and emotionally needs. But this is a fallacy.It is time to play a bigger role in your child's life. Why? A father's influence is more important than you think and research is backing this up. Researchers found that a positive male influence early in life can influence personality and personality development. On the other hand, rejection and ejection will have the opposite impact. Ronald Rohner co-author of the Personality and Social Psychology Review found: "Children and adults everywhere --regardless of differences in race, culture and gender, tend to respond in exactly the same way when they perceived themselves to be rejected by their caregivers and other attachment figures," he said. Love and acceptance is a powerful tool to help kids to become healthy adults and gives them someone that they can depend on no matter what. Fathers really do set the standard for children. So, dear Dad, please take note of the following pointers on why you matter.
You set the standard of love.A father has the responsibility to love. When this love is constant, long-suffering and merciful, it builds a strong foundation for your kids. We heard the phase of "Having daddy issues," but there is a sad truth in this often touted phrase. Without a father or father figure, children set up a standard because they don't have a figure in their lives to set the standard. What happens is a child will make the assumption that other people need to define their self-worth. So, it is important that they know that they are loved.
You show them how to have self-esteem.It's important to tell your kids that they are good looking, there is nothing wrong with this. Yet, it is also important to applaud them on their values, compassion, hard work and work ethics. There is more to a person than the way that they look or perform. By doing this, your child will become less dependent on receiving their self-esteem from other people and judging themselves because they don't look a certain way. Teaching kids to not judge by looks will help them view themselves in a positive light. The bottom line is a father needs to celebrate a child not solely based on physical appearances but for internal values.
You teach them consistency.Children need to have their physical needs and emotional needs met to grow up successfully. A father is a tower of strength that can help a child find security and unconditional love. Practicing consistency is vital as it builds a trust and a foundation that they can trust you. Consistency is not only important for showing love but to discipline children as well. "Kids need to be able to predict that two and two are going to be four the same way they need to be able to predict what time they’re going to go to bed, how they’re going to be dealt with if they cursed and what’s going to happen if they don’t do their homework," Empoweringparents.com reported.
You help their development.In our fast-paced society and the crazy schedules, there is a problem with the lack of time we spend as a family unit. We are missing out on important time that allows everyone to relax and to reconnect with each other or to just decompress. Researchers at Brigham Young University found that participation in family leisure activities is important and needed. The found that a father's everyday involvement in "the common family leisure activities that held more weight than the large, extravagant, out-of-the-ordinary types of activities when examining family functioning," the study found. Spending time with your kids transcends the family vacations, it is spending time doing the mundane as well like going shopping or doing homework.
You prepare them for the real world.In Hebrews 12:7 we are instructed to set the parameters for children. “Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father?” A father sets parameters by preparing kids for the real world. You can teach them to get good grades so that they can get into college. You can teach them how to have a good work ethic to help them do well in their jobs and how to leads other to do the same. There is a ton of power that you possess in molding another generation by preparing your child for the world.
You teach them the truth.We are weighed down with information from the media and from politicians that distort the truth. We are coaxed to be greedy, to be selfish and to be despondent to the needs of others. You have the power to teach your kids the truth that they can't believe everything that they hear or read about. You have the ability to teach them the importance of keeping their word, telling them the truth and being a trustworthy person. You can be transparent about your mistakes to show them an example. Maybe you learned that being a workaholic is not worth the sacrifice of a quality of life or that you lied and regretted it. Give them the tool of truth to help them sort through all the false ideologies that come from the world and from their peers.
Dads, we know it is super hard and no one is perfect. Most likely, you've done your best to raise your kids or maybe you believed that mom has a more important role. This is simply not true. You have a role in shaping your kids for the better or for the worse. Yes, parenting is a pretty high-stakes game to play, but it is worth it.