What The Bible Says About Dealing With Your Silent Teenage Son

Your moody prince

So, what can we do? “In the Bible we see the concept of a blessing over and over and over. We see God bless Abraham. Isaac gives his blessing to Jacob and when Esau does not get the blessing it grieves him deeply. We see the Father blessing Christ at his baptism when he says, 'This is my Son, whom I love. With him I am well pleased.' Blessing is positive, encouraging, affirming things you can do for your child to impart value and worth and vision into your kids. It comes through things like positive and encouraging words, saying, 'Son I'm proud of you, God has a plan for your life, you are different from other children, you are going to do amazing things in your life as you follow God faithfully, I believe in you.'”

^{photo by Mike Baird}

Your moody prince

“Train your teenagers into godly citizens who know how to think on their own,” continues Peach. “As older teens my brothers and I had already learned what was expected of us from our parents. Therefore, I only remember one rule that we had through those last years in my parents’ home. The amazing thing is that rule summed up so much of everything we had been taught as younger kids. The rule was, that we must be home from any activity or outing by 11 p.m. If we were going to be out any later, we needed to call for permission or to explain why we could not be home by then. This simple rule kept us out of a lot of trouble. My parents knew exactly where we were and who we were with. Our parents were showing respect to us in trusting us. We showed respect to our parents by calling (even if we were only 2 minutes from home at 11:00. we would find a pay phone and call because we respected them enough to not cause them to worry). It also caused our friends to have a higher respect for my parents and they knew the rules were not negotiable."

^{photo by Mike Baird}

Your moody prince

“Ephesians 6:4 says to not provoke your children to wrath,” continues Peach. “This means don’t frustrate them. Stupid rules that no one understands or rules that are inconsistent with other expectations simply frustrate those being governed by them. As adults we have probably all experienced these types of rules at work.” However, when you do et rules, you should also discuss consequences. Allow your children help you determine the consequences. You might be surprised that they would assign greater punishment on themselves than you would. Then you need to be consistent in applying the consequences. This goes along with not frustrating your child with stupid rules. Your teen needs to know that there are always consequences for disobedience. If one of your children gets away with breaking a rule and another one doesn’t then you frustrate your children and break down the respect they have for you and their siblings. When enforcing the rules you have agreed upon, you need to remember you are the parent, not their high school best friend. Your job is to train your teenagers into godly citizens who know how to think on their own. A true friend and parent will do what is right for the teen, not partner with them to fight other authority figures."

^{photo by Mike Baird}

Your moody prince

“It is said that God has no grandchildren,” adds Peach. “What is meant by that? A child is not saved because of the relationship his parents have with God. Each person must come to God on his own. Theologically that is true. However, practically a child will more likely come to a personal relationship with God because of the lessons he learns from his parents. Share your love for God with your children. Teenagers need reassurance. While they are seeking independence they also want to know that they are accepted and loved. Praise them when they do well. It is so easy to live in the same house without talking or engaging one another. Even in a home which is free of stress.

^{photo by Nancy Plagge}

Your moody prince

Fathers have a vital role, says Copeland. “It’s time for the fathers to get involved in the spiritual activities of their families. For too long, the women have carried more than their share of family responsibility. Husbands and fathers, get on your knees before God and accept your place as head of your household. You are the prophet from God to your family. This is not a lightweight thing; it takes a commitment on your part to fulfill your responsibilities. Get yourself straight before God, then see to your children. If necessary, go to your kids and ask their forgiveness for neglecting them. I have had to learn these things the hard way, and I know what I am talking about.”

^{photo by Mike Baird}

Your moody prince

“George Washington was so famous for rallying the spirits of his troops and inspiring confidence when they were far outnumbered,” notes Cameron. “Very similarly, a father needs to do the same thing. You may live in a culture where it seems that you are the only one following after God and trying to do the right thing. Particularly for boys, a father is the one the sons look to and say 'I want to be like him.' And whether boys want to or not, many of them end up being like their fathers. We become much like what we are around and the more time godly fathers can spend with their children, affirming their faith, building their character and constructing their world view around the Bible and Christ, they have a much better chance of becoming godly men in a godless culture.”

^{photo by Mike Baird}