What Smart Dads Know about Daughters

Life-Changing Tips for Real-World Fathers

“Baby girls don't come with instruction manuals.”

Pastor Dale Reeves smiles when he says this, but don’t assume he’s joking. Author of the book, The Smart Dad’s Guide to Daughters and a dad who’s raised two girls with his wife, he understands this truth matters a great deal for fathers and daughters alike.

“That’s why I have a passion for calling dads to have great relationships with their daughters,” he says. “In our culture today, it’s absolutely critical for this dad/daughter relationship to be what God designed when he created the family unit.” To that end, Pastor Reeves has a little advice for devoted dads everywhere. Care to listen in?

Smart Dads Know T-I-M-E Spells Love

“The Word of God is very clear in Deuteronomy 6 that our job is to redeem the time God has given us with our children.”

“Life is too short,” Pastor Reeves cautions. “I know several men whose daughters have preceded them in death. I can't imagine going through that as a dad...Yet we have no guarantees.” That’s why it’s important for dads to make time with their girls an everyday priority.

“My younger daughter and I have had some of our greatest conversations on long walks on the beach in Florida—just the two of us. Moments like these will be etched in our minds forever, and these kinds of micro- or maxi-dates are what Smart Dads do.”

Smart Dads Unplug Their Ears

“If my girls were to write the ‘Smart Daughter’s Guide to Dads,’ they’d challenge guys like you and me to LISTEN.”

“My daughters would tell dads to listen to their wives and their daughters, to give them the task of helping their daughters achieve the right balance between tenacity and tenderness, the balance between knowing when to be serious and when to get crazy, and to rely on God for the rest.

“Most men I know are not good listeners, because we have our own agenda constantly running through our brains. If we will stop and really listen to our wives and daughters, life with the females in our home can become manageable.”

Smart Dads Coach Their Girls

“Athletics teach so many valuable lessons for girls.”

Pastor Reeves encouraged his daughters to pursue their choice of sports as they grew up. Through sports, they learned how to be team players, to pursue goals, to serve and celebrate within a community, to relate better with friends and adversaries, and more.

What’s more, athletics offered an opportunity for a dad to be a valuable part of his daughters’ recreational and social lives—outside the home. “Coach your daughter’s sports team!” Reeves advises now. “Involvement with them in these pursuits shows how much we care. I loved coaching my daughters, and frankly, miss those days.”

Smart Dads Give Goodnight Kisses

“It’s been proven through the research how critical it is for girls to experience appropriate physical affection from their fathers.”

When our baby girls are small, it’s natural to show fatherly affection. As daughters grow into young womanhood, though, many dads begin to feel uncomfortable with physical affection—and they pull away. As a final thought, Pastor Reeves offers this solution to that problem:

“Always kiss her good night. When you are a steady source of healthy physical affection, that helps your daughter form great relationships later in life. And absence of a father’s affection can be a major cause of heartache and unhealthy relationships in the future as well. That’s why Smart Dads never forget a goodnights kiss.”