7 Keys to Dealing with Difficult People You Love

Will you dare to love?

Dig In or Sleep In? You’re home for a visit and your mother wants to drag you to church. You’re ticked off because you want to sleep in. If you love someone, look beyond the words and actions to understand the feelings that prompt them. Dig in; find out the truth behind what’s being said. Could it be Mom’s been missing you and just wants your company? Though the needs of a parent and child are seldom the same, seeking to understand each other’s feelings is what counts. Mom gets to see that she’s important to you and that you care about what’s going on in her world. It’s also a great opportunity to bear your soul, to share how you really feel about faith. You may be surprised to learn that mom’s struggled spiritually too and can help. As for church, it may be just what you need, even more healing than sleep.

Will you dare to love?

Facetime or Faceoff? For the tenth consecutive year, you receive one of those one-size-fits-all holiday letters from an old friend who rarely bothers to call even when they’re in your area. You’re annoyed and even a bit hurt. Don’t take it personally. Technology, with all its perks, has made us believe that we can have deep and rich friendships with minimal face-to-face interaction. Not so, but even families have bought into it. Checking in with texts and tweets, Facebook, emails and yes, that year-in-review holiday letter is not enough. Relationships are built on shared experiences—good and bad—and there is simply no substitute for doing life together. If the relationship is worth keeping, don’t wait for next year’s letter. Reach out, in person, now. You may even discover that your friend—aside from being thrilled—always assumed you were just too busy.

Will you dare to love?

Be Kind or Be Right? Your mother-in-law takes over your kitchen every time she is in your home, barking orders and insisting on using her recipe for mash potatoes even though everyone knows yours is better. Another glass of wine may soothe your nerves, but it won’t do anything to help your relationship with your mother-in-law. Since every relationship has its rough edges, and all of us have our idiosyncrasies, be willing to forgive. Let go of petty surface issues, and that includes who makes the best mashed potatoes. “It’s always better to be kind than right,” write the Shooks in One Month to Love: Thirty Days to Grow and Deepen Your Closest Relationships. “Remember that this time of year is for nurturing your relationships.”