A Little Help from Your Friends — and Strangers
Caregivers are those we depend on in times of need; when we’re ill and need a hand. But when you’re the caregiver, who do you turn to when you need a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, or a friend to listen? Whether it’s someone to remind you that you’re doing a good job, or a little advice on an impossible situation, caregivers need all the support they can find.
These words of guidance, support, and empathy come from Beliefnet readers who listened and responded to their fellow caregivers reaching out for someone they can lean on.
Visit the new For All the Ways You Care community for caregivers featuring stories, discussions and helpful resources.
Learn to Sit Still
"Hang in there! Take 15 minutes out of your morning routine -- and another 15 minutes in the evening -- to just sit still. Meditate for the strength you need.
You are not alone!"
- zazu.pitts39
When You Can't Keep Your Promises
"My heart goes out to you. Remember that you aren’t a horrible person or a failure for admitting that though
you love your parents and you want to keep your promises, realistically there are times you can't.
Sometimes, for the sake of everyone impacted by our choices, we have to accept our own limitations
and hand over the job to someone else."
- i12cusmile
Treat Yourself — Without the Guilt
"Do things for yourself — get your hair done, have a massage, or go for a walk. Anything to break the "same old, same old routine" and let you commune with nature. Leave your cell phone number if you feel you must, and tell them how long you'll be out. Then go.
Unless you take care of yourself, you're no good to the person who needs you to help take care of them."
- MarleneEmmett5
Find Strength in Adversity
"Please hold on to your faith and hope. Sigmund Freud said: 'Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength.' If your obstacles are bringing you down, let your determination bring you up. If you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, until it seems as though you can’t hang on a minute longer; that is just the place and time that the tide will turn."
- LindaMoklak
Have Patience, Your Time Will Come
"You can't take it personally. I did in the beginning but I now know that you can't. Take solace in the fact that if it weren't for you she would be in bad shape. You will be blessed dear.
Karma will come back to you. Hang in there."
- Dakota
Remind Yourself of Their Pain
"Try sitting down with the person you’re taking care of and tell her you'd like to find some sort of way to avoid arguments. You might find she is acting a certain way because she is really hurting inside. I know I can be pretty horrible to people when I'm hurt. I know a woman who has a chronic illness; she says some hurtful things at times but I know it’s because she's suffering mentally and physically. The woman you're looking after might just want somebody to listen to her. I hope things get better for you."
– dpatel
You're Not Alone
"I understand exactly what you're going through! As I read your message, I wondered if had I written it. I go through the exact same thing with my mother (88 yrs.) day in and day out. Be sure to take care of yourself first. That might sound selfish; however, you can't help others if you break down! Don't get discouraged and remember, you're not alone.
There are a lot of us out here!"
- Chanel
Learn to Lean
"One of the hardest things in the world to be is a caregiver. Don’t try to do it yourself. It is very easy to get overwhelmed. There are many support groups out there to help you. Find one and join it. I have been a caregiver for 6 years now. I started by helping a friend. Now I work with Relay For Life, and am helping several friends. They don’t have to do it by themselves. There are people like me out there who are willing to give a hand."
- mountainrrman
Follow Your Heart and Your Intentions
"You have to follow your heart. Get as much information as possible and move with it. As long as your heart and your intentions are straight on, you're going to be okay. Sometimes caregivers have a hard time letting go and realizing how much they are doing for their loved ones.
Find time for yourself - it is what will keep you strong and focused."
- BethK
Remind Yourself Why You're There
"Being a caregiver takes a toll on a person and we all get to a point where we ask ourselves ''Why am I doing this?''
The answer: because you are a loving, caring person
When my mom was sick, my Dad and I would take care of her 24/7; I had to take an evening off here and there for me.
Now that my mom has passed away, I can truly say that I'm thankful for the time I spent with her. It was a privilege to be trusted as her caregiver and a privilege to help her."
- Mintie_2008
