Couples Who Pray

Transform your relationship by spending five minutes a day engaged in the most intimate act between a man and woman--prayer.


By SQuire Rushnell and Louise DuArt 


Taking the time to pray with your partner for five minutes a day can pep up your love life while it increases intimacy, trust  and respect. It also gives you more to talk about when you are on the same spiritual wavelength! Studies tell us that the fear of divorce drops to zero, and loving feelings spike up high, when you take the time to talk to your Creator--together! Here are 10 tips for praying with your partner.


SQuire Rushnell and Louise DuArt are authors of Couples Who Pray (Thomas Nelson, 2007) and founders of the The 40 Day Prayer Challenge™. Excerpted from Couples Who Pray. Visit SQuire Rushnell's Godwink Stories.


More prayer, more power!

Prayer is simply talking with God. He invites you to come into his presence so He can love, encourage, and teach you. God also wants to help the two of you build a marital foundation that is lasting and unshakable, with Him in the middle. Therefore, the more you pray, the more power will come to you.

Make time to pray

Find a mutual time conducive to establishing your routine of praying. Is it easier in the morning or at night? Some couples find it better to get up a few minutes earlier than the kids. Some find it more suitable before bedtime. If you’re apart, pray on the phone.

Have an attitude of gratitude and vulnerability

Recall things God has done for you, individually and as a couple. Thank Him for specific blessings: your children, your health, your home, and income. And go ahead. Be vulnerable. After all, you’re talking with God. He knows everything about you anyway!

Confess and request forgiveness

Honestly ask God to show you where your problem areas are, freely confessing those problems you perceive. He wants to free you from the shackles of resentfulness, insecurity, mistrust, doubt, guilt, shame, fear, uncertainty. Don’t own it anymore. Give it all to Him. Let God carry your baggage.

Pray out loud with your spouse

At the outset perhaps only one of you will speak. But as you become more comfortable, both of you will want to state your concerns and requests. Praying is like an exercise...the more you do it, the more natural it becomes. And the more indispensable it is in your life.

Keep it short

Prayers don’t need to be long-winded or flowery. If you each speak for one or two minutes, that’s just fine. As you develop your own style and patterns, you may find yourself extending the experience.

Use everyday language

God does not require thees and thous. Imagine that you are sitting down to have an open, intimate conversation with a father with whom you are completely at ease, who lovingly listens to every word and wants to give you anything you ask for. It’s your heart, not your tongue, that He wants to hear from.

Pray for your marriage

Your intimate prayer sessions must never be a time for bringing up your partner’s shortcomings. In fact, this is when you need to be the most sensitive to each other’s feelings. Focus on us. Use kind and encouraging words about each other. Thank God for your spouse. Ask Him to show you ways in which you can love and support each other more. As you pray together, you will become more and more united in your thoughts and desires.

Pray for others and for self

Praying for family and others is what many people have learned is the only way to pray. That is important. But God also desires that you ask His help for yourself too. “Ask, believe, and receive” is the biblical command for you to believe that you will receive what you’ve asked for (Matthew 21:21-23 and Mark 11:23-25 NIV). Except for those things He Himself would not be pleased with, nothing is off-limits. He wants you to cast all of your cares upon Him.

Expect God to answer your prayers

Pray with the expectation that God hears and is answering your prayers. Thank Him for your blessings even before He gives them to you. The manifestation of prayer may not be seen right away, but trust that He always hears and answers requests. Perhaps not in the way you think or on your timetable. But as you continue to mentally and physically strive to claim your requests, God is working. It’s in the waiting that God does the work. And in the waiting He’s building your faith. As promised: “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” (Heb. 11:1 KJV).

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