Sound familiar? It certainly does to Jews preparing to celebrate the holiday of Purim (March 21) by reading the Book of Esther. Two thousand years before "Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire?" was a twinkling dollar sign in the eyes of Fox television executives, the Jewish canon was expanded to include the story of Ahasuerus, king of Persia and Media, and Esther, a Jewish maiden. Chosen by Ahasuerus as his queen, Esther will eventually use her high office to foil a plot by the king's evil minister, Haman, to wipe out the kingdom's Jews.
The holiday commemorating this story of Jewish deliverance is a day of carnival, masquerade, even rabbinically sanctioned drunkenness. Esther and her uncle/guardian Mordecai are remembered as heroes, and Haman as an enemy so vile that every mention of his name is drowned out in a cacophony of noisemakers and catcalls.
But all the revelry can't disguise the controversial plot element at the story's heart, any more than Fox's public relations department could spin away the ickiness of "Multimillionaire." Esther's physical charms, as opposed to any other qualities, are emphasized again and again. She is not merely paraded before the king and asked a few "If you were a tree." questions. She and the other contestants are put through a yearlong spa treatment of ointments and cosmetics, and then have to spend the night with Ahasuerus (the losers are relegated to lesser spots in his harem). Early Jewish commentators, not to mention generations of Jewish mothers, had to explain why a Jewish heroine was competing for the hand of a gentile.
Debates among modern feminist commentators on the Esther story sound like the ones over "Multimillionaire": Should Esther have allowed herself to become a sex object? Should marriage be reduced to a casting call? And by what right do men--the king's courtiers in suggesting the pageant, Mordecai in nominating Esther, Ahasuerus in expanding his harem--manipulate young women for their own gain and delectation?
Some suggest that the real Purim role model is Vashti, the queen who preceded Esther. Vashti is remembered for standing up to Ahasuerus, who had asked her to come to a drunken feast and "show the people and the princes her beauty." For refusing to parade herself before the boys, Vashti is dethroned, banished from the king's presence, and possibly killed, according to some readings.
The king's lackeys know exactly what's at stake in this feminist uprising: "For the Queen's behavior will make all wives despise their husbands" (Esther 1:17). Along with the "Queen for a Day" pageant, the king issues a proclamation to be sent throughout Persia and Media, "that every man should wield authority in his home" (Esther 1:22). Vashti becomes biblical feminism's Rosa Parks, flouting the law to recover women's dignity.
Not that Esther is without her defenders. If she and the other contestants were forced to take part in the pageant, as some interpretations suggest, then she and Mordecai made the best of a bad situation. But even if her participation was voluntary, the text allows her to grow from a passive courtesan to a righteous redeemer. She is courageous in approaching the king and revealing her secret identity as a Jew, subtle in exposing Haman's designs, and a regular Xena, Warrior Princess as she wreaks revenge on the Jews' enemies.
"Obviously, Queen Esther is by no means an embarrassment to women," writes Rachel M. Brownstein of the City University of New York. "On the other hand, she falls short of being a cause for feminist celebration."
That the Book of Esther continues to be read after 2,000 years, while the Fox show has been canceled after a single broadcast, owes much to the former's complex images of women and matrimony. Despite the obvious parallels (for example: Don't trust a guy involved in Media), the pageants in these two tales are as different as night and day--or now and then. "Multimillionaire" was reviled because it displayed women as shallow, gold-digging objects, willing to trade love and dignity for money. The Book of Esther lives on because it celebrates one woman who said no, and another who grows beyond a submissive role to become a true heroine.