The rock song from the British band Chumbawamba called Tubthumper said it best: "I get knocked down, but I get up again. You are never gonna keep me down. I get knocked down, but I get up again." Funny how lyrics can offer some gusto after you've fallen on your keister. How can you get back up after being hammered to bits by life? If you want to change your life and the direction that you are headed, really dig deep as this will help you from becoming swept away by storms. People are bogged down with self-defeating thoughts, words and wonder why they can't get back on their feet. We can't move forward when we are relying on circumstances to be perfect for us to get on the road towards our destiny. Here is what it takes to get back up again.
Feel your emotions.You need to feel your emotions if you are going rise above the fray. Most of us just want to bury our hurts in a field somewhere and leave them for good. Clinical psychologist Christina G. Hibbert, Psy.D spoke with PsychCentral and said this is not a way to find liberty. "Like trying to run away from something that’s right on your shoulder. The only way to truly be free is to stop and face your emotions,” said Hibbert. “Instead, they think about, wallow in and replay events. But they are not letting themselves really feel the pain, loss, sadness, anger, that is lurking within.” Deal with your emotions and then you can sort through them better to move ahead and to find healing.
Let your failures go.Allowing your failures to remain in the past is easier said than done in our success-obsessed culture. Just the word makes us quiver! We internalize failure and could make it our identity. Failure can create an opportunity to make you more courageous, more creative and stronger when going against challenges. Allowing failure have its way doesn't mean that you are enjoying the moment, it means you are growing from it. Letting your failures go allows you to release the pain of the disappointment. In the meantime, it will help you increase your resilience.
Learn from others who didn't back down.Steven Spielberg and President Abraham Lincoln experienced failure during their lives. We only know this because they got back up again after seething failure. Lincoln lost eight elections until he became president. Director Steven Spielberg was rejected three times from the University of Southern California School of Cinematic Arts because of poor grades. Apple creator Steve Jobs had a poor start in life. Jobs was adopted and headed down a road as a troubled kid but pursued his passion of technology. Virgin Records tycoon Richard Branson failed in school and suffered from dyslexia. Despite the disappointment of failing, he turned to his interpersonal skills instead. Today he is one of the richest businessmen in the world. You can always be reassured by other people's stories. This is helpful when things look bleak.
Rebuild your confidence.In order to make a comeback, you need your confidence replenished. Confidence is a by-product of that "inner power that propels us to keep taking action, bypassing our fears and self-doubts," wrote best-selling author Agapi Stassinopoulos. We question ourselves and fill ourselves with negative input that paralyzes us, making ourselves feel like we've failed before we've even begun. Focusing on your attributes will help you rise above when you feel vulnerable. We all construct images of who we think we are and who we want the world to see and then attempt to live up to them. Confidence takes depth coupled with an ability to truly love who you are. When we don't love ourselves, it impacts our relationships, our career and the future. Proverbs 3:26 explained it this way: "For the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught." Use affirmations and reflect on your good qualities to strengthen your confidence.
Start setting goals.Force your mind to see things from another perspective and try another route to achieve your goals. Start by setting small goals that you can tackle weekly and then slowly build upon them with bigger goals. Psychology Today recommended: "Be ruthlessly realistic about how your talents match up with the goal you set. If your goal seems unreachable, pull back and master mental contrasting." Start by breaking your goals down, planning the next step for short-term goals and for long-term goals. Start to envision yourself reaching great new heights and moving your setbacks.
When we don't love ourselves, we end up caring more about what others think of us and allow fear to dominate us. If there are old wounds, start working on ways to heal in those areas. We need self-acceptance in order to truly love ourselves in a healthy way. Start supporting the positive and accept yourself with all your flaws. You may not be where you want to be, but you are not where you used to be.
Let's revisit those lyrics again: "I get knocked down, but I get up again. You are never gonna keep me down. I get knocked down, but I get up again." Are you ready to get back up? Be encouraged that there is one thing that no one can take away from you and that is your tenacity. No matter where you are in life, get back up again.