2019-03-28
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The past is catching up and you can no longer outpace the pain since it's been buried for so long. We all dwell on the past and can't seem to let go of things and this causes impatience, hostility and more tension. Whether it was a tragic death, broken promises, situations at work or a heartache, letting go can be even scarier. Hanging in there is a sign of strength, and yet, there comes a time when the greater power comes from letting go. We desire to live according to how we were, live the way things used to be and those recollections tie us to the past. Letting go of any identity, thing or person can be difficult. But using the art of letting go can be life-changing. Consider the following ideas on how to let go.

Make a decision.

Things won't change unless there is a commitment to purposely let go. Now you have a choice and this gives you more power. Make the decision that the past no longer can bind you. You can do this by not going over the scenario again and by dealing with the emotions that were locked away for so long. You have a choice to start the process of letting go, but you need to be firm and need to stick with it. Don't allow the past to keep you trapped any longer. "It’s always been a choice," wrote author Josh Daffern. "You are not a slave to your personality. You are not a victim of your circumstances. You have the Spirit of the God who created the Heavens and the earth."

Take risks.

If you're a person who is afraid to let go of the past due to failure or mistakes, taking risks is not your thing. It's natural to not want to get hurt again. Whether it's a love interest, friendship or applying for another job, fear can keep life inert. Taking risks is necessary to grow, to experience life and to investigate new opportunities. The odds are not as bad as you might think. People tend to overthink things, believing things will perpetually go in reverse. "Yet the reality is that the risk of something not working out is often not near as high as we estimate and the odds of it working out well, are often far better," author Margie Warrell wrote. Facing anxiety will empower you to take more risks and this will promote greater success. Think of the odds being stacked for you, not against you--then take a gamble.

Learn from failure.

Naturally, we beat ourselves for failing and never walk away with what was learned. "Often we view failure as caused by internal sources, then the external ones. This means we blame ourselves for things that are actually external, and out of our control," said psychologist Nicole Martinez Psy.D. Separate failure from you as a person because it can start damaging your self-confidence. Stop looking at everything with an all-or-nothing method or looking at things as black-and-white. Life is not that way and you need to change course if this is part of your reasoning. All-or-nothing thinking is a typical thought pattern many people have who are goal-driven, so when they fail, it's hard to bounce back. Take what you can from a situation and learn from it.

Don't play the blame game.

They might have hurt you, and it's understandable you want to lash out. After you're done tending to raw emotions, the blame has to end. When you blame others, you give them the power over you. Playing the victim will make you think everyone is out to get you and this can become another pressing issue. You live in the present, why allow the past or a person from the past to keep you in despair? No amount of rumination ever fixed a problem and neither does blame. "Sometimes we get stuck in our pain and our stubbornness, we can’t even imagine forgiveness. But forgiveness isn’t saying, 'I agree with what you did.' Instead, it’s saying, 'I don’t agree with what you did, but I forgive you anyway,'" John M. Grohol, Psy.D. wrote. Let go of what was and replace it with something more fruitful.

Live in the present.

When you keep thinking about the past, you can't enjoy where you are in the present. Pay attention to the warmth of the sun after the rain, the happiness found when a good friend calls you or enjoying a bear claw with an espresso. Author and pastor Joel Osteen said that we will have plenty of opportunities to complain, to become angry or to get upset. "But what you're doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness." In order to live a life in the present, trash the negative thinking, the blunders and move onward by remaining in today. When you focus on the present, you don't think of the past. We are told in the Bible to not “Throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.”

Empty your cup today of the pain, false beliefs, regrets and the useless material stuff keeping you anchored to yesterday. Believe that you have a role in this world. When you do, you will begin to see the vision for your life more clearer. Let go of the baggage and all those things keeping you from launching forward. Keep this in mind when moving forward on the journey and when you're tempted to hold onto the past.
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