How to Balance Work, Family and Faith

It All Begins With You

Can you balance work, family, and faith? Yes! But not by accident. It is absolutely possible, but make no mistake, it isn’t easy. Maintaining balance requires energy, creativity, determination, and a healthy dose of optimism. A half-hearted or crippled effort simply won’t do. That’s why it’s so crucial to take care of yourself. When life gets crazy, it’s tempting to put everything else first, but over time that approach will lead to burn-out and cripple your ability to manage. You must guard your physical and emotional and spiritual health if you want to succeed. Exercise regularly, eat well, and set aside some precious time for your own enjoyment and relaxation. A little investment in “you” will yield huge dividends. You’ll have more energy, a clearer head, and the emotional capacity needed to balance all that life throws at you.

Diane Paddison is Chief Strategy Officer and board member at the commercial real estate firm Cassidy Turley, and serves as a board member for numerous corporate and national nonprofit boards. Diane has held several executive positions for corporate companies, including Chief Operating Officer of Trammell Crow (now CB Richard Ellis) and ProLogis. She is the author of Work Love Pray.

You Don't Have To Do It Alone

Developing an authentic group of friends of like spirit, professional level, and stage of life will give you much-needed support as you navigate life. One of the best things I ever did was to recruit a few women to join me every two weeks to talk about our lives over lunch. You can do it too! Just follow these guidelines:

(1) Keep it small and simple. Five people or fewer is best, aim for a group in the same stage of life and professional level. No agenda. No book to study. No pressure to maintain perfect attendance. Our group meets every other week over lunch, and at times various members have felt free to take time off from the group if they needed to;

(2) Keep it relational. This isn’t a Bible study. It’s about “us.” We talk about the things that keep us up at night. And we don’t try to solve each other’s problems. Just listen, care, and pray;

(3) Keep it confidential. Invite women with whom you’ve had some history and know you can trust. It might help to recruit women outside of your company. Figuratively (or actually) vow to each other, “What’s said at this table stays at this table.” The key is to establish a safe environment where each of you can share, support, and recharge.

Work Hard, Leave On Time

Many women (me included) find our professional lives exciting and fulfilling, but even if you don’t love your work, it can still be hard to leave on time. It seems like there’s always just that “little bit” more to do. For other women (me included) it can be really difficult to say “no,” especially if it means disappointing a coworker or client. But you must establish healthy boundaries on your work time if you want to have anything left for family or faith. To do so, be honest about your priorities with your boss or with potential employers and seek out companies with family-friendly cultures. And when you’re at work, be a truly excellent worker. If you want to increase your chances of having your company support you in your efforts to balance work and family, be the best at what you do. The more successes you can point to in your work history, the more likely an employer will be willing to create a work environment tailored to your needs. The reverse is just as true: no one’s going to bend over backward to help a slacker.

A Little Bit of "No" Goes a Long Way

Invest the bulk of your time into what you value most, and leave the other worthy causes and activities for another season of life. A lot of working women tend to be over-achievers, especially when it comes to volunteering. And sometimes we suffer from a desire to prove that having a career won’t keep us from doing what a lot of stay-at-home moms do, but that’s just plain irrational. If you say yes to everyone who wants you to serve on a board or volunteer to run the Vacation Bible School program, you’re going to be of little use to anyone. It’s okay to say no to some of the many good organizations who would love your help. You’re not a bad mom if you don’t volunteer to be a room mother for your daughter’s kindergarten class. Be honest about your strengths and weaknesses and time. I would not have been a good room mom. I am not creative in that way and I am not great at party planning. I am, however, good at organizing and leading groups focused on specific goals and learning activities, so when my son’s Cub Scout group needed a leader, I said “yes.” Strive to invest your time in a few “high impact” activities that make best use of your God-given gifts.

Grow Your Faith Like You Grow Your Career

In our efforts to balance faith, family and career, faith almost always takes a backseat. I’ve never met anyone who deliberately falls away from a dynamic and vibrant faith in God. Rather, it’s a little like gaining weight. Those extra fifteen pounds don’t just suddenly appear overnight but are the result of daily decisions over time that gradually rob you of your waistline. Likewise, our busy lives gradually crowd out those things that are essential to maintaining a personal relationship with God. Our spiritual health ought to be more important than our physical health, and it requires the same kind of investment of our time. When you take the time to pray, read the Bible, and otherwise invest in the things of God, you feel closer to him, you have a confidence that he is with you, and you are able to view your life from a higher, wider perspective. Neglect it, and you begin to lose those benefits. I’m far from perfect and have experienced my share of the dry times, but when my faith is strong and I am closest to God, the benefits spill over into my family and my work. I am a better parent, better spouse, and better worker when I put God first.