There’s been something weird going on with me lately. Or maybe it’s been like this for awhile. I noticed that every time I create something, I have a tinge of something. Something that comes from a deep place, but difficult to put my finger on.
I started getting signs and hints of what it could be. An old episode of The Rosie Show featured an entire segment to the show Shameless. The word carried so much meaning with it. It lingered for awhile.
And then as I was thumbing through Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way and landed on page 67 on Shame. She says:
“Those of us who get bogged down by fear before action are usually being sabotaged by an older enemy, shame.”
While she says that art actually shines a light on shame, the wounds we carry from our childhood tends to gloss over that.
- Shame comes from our parents who wanted to keep us from coloring outside the lines.
- It comes from our friends who taunted us for being weird.
- It comes from those who wanted to keep us in the norm so that we couldn’t threaten them with our own innate power.
And as adults we keep slipping right on over it. Every time we create something, we walk the line tipping ever so slightly toward shame again.
Will someone think our creation is less than? Will they think, “How dare she think she’s talented?” Or, “Who does she think she is for creating that?”
It’s a deep-rooted fear that haunts me whenever I write a post, send out a tweet, or share an update on Facebook. It’s the fear that someone will point me out and claim that I am a fake.
How to be Shameless
In the end, while feeling shame is common in creating, I realized that I don’t want to live this way anymore. Instead of repressing the hurt that comes from shame or telling yourself that it doesn’t matter, that your art doesn’t matter, why not embrace a life of shamelessness?
What does this mean?
It means telling your inner voice that:
1. you are courageous
2. that their negative review doesn’t sum up your life
3. that your art is simply an expression, not an extension of you
4. that your own way of creating is special and you don’t have to seek the approval of others to know this
5. that you are worthy just for the sake of being alive.
Make sure to follow Brandi-Ann Uyemura's Happy Haven blog!