6 Ways to Start Being Happier Today

Everyone wants to be happy, don’t they? That’s a silly question even to ask. If you had to choose between being happy and being unhappy, who wouldn’t choose happiness? Happiness is so important to us that it’s enshrined in our nation’s founding document, stating that Americans are given the right to “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” (notice the Declaration of Independence never promised us happiness, just the pursuit of it).

And that is what our lives are: the pursuit of happiness. But too many of us believe a myth about happiness, namely that happiness is determined by outward circumstances. If our spouse is acting right, if our parents love us, if our kids behave, if the government leaves us alone, if our boss is pleasant, if we’ve got money in the bank and food on the table, then we’ll be happy. Yet the biggest problem with this approach to happiness is that it takes our happiness out of our hands and puts it in the hands of people and forces outside of our control. Very rarely do the stars line up in our favor, everything conspiring to make our life easy and pleasant. Life in reality is dysfunctional and broken relationships, consequences of bad decisions and other people trying to get ahead at our expense. And thus, we are unhappy. But we don’t have to be. There is a better way.

If you want to start being happier today, here are six ancient steps from the pages of Scripture.

Embrace the timeless truth that happiness is a choice. It is not determined by outward circumstances.

If you believe that your happiness is determined by forces outside of your control then you believe a myth. Happiness has always been a choice, which is why the Apostle Paul could command the early church to “Rejoice in the Lord always!” (Philippians 4:4). A few verses later Paul would elaborate on this life changing truth about happiness, “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:12-13).

For Paul, his contentment (happiness) was never determined by outward circumstances. His happiness came from within, namely his relationship with Christ. Paul experienced the same highs and lows we all experience as humans, but his contentment never wavered because his happiness never came from circumstances outside of his control.

Stop blaming others for your unhappiness.

If you want to start being happier today then stop blaming others for your unhappiness. It might give you a momentary sense of relief, but playing the victim card gets you no closer to the happiness you ultimately crave. This extends even to the language you use. When you use phrases like “You made me so mad” or “What she did upset me so much,” you are speaking falsely. Other people don’t make you mad. You make yourself angry. People can do whatever they want. You can’t control that. You can’t control someone else’s actions. You can only control your reaction.

As harsh as it sounds, if you’re unhappy, it’s because you choose to be unhappy. You are choosing to respond to the circumstances around you in a way that is upsetting you. Don’t blame your unhappiness on someone else. You’re happiness has been and always will be your choice.

Focus on the good in your life.

When Paul commanded the early Christians to rejoice in Philippians 4:4, he specifically commanded them to “rejoice in the Lord.” At this point in Paul’s life, he was under arrest in the city of Rome awaiting trial before Caesar. Scholars believe he was chained to a guard twenty-four hours a day. He had every reason to be unhappy. But he chose not to be. When Paul chose happiness, it wasn’t delusion or a denial of his unfavorable circumstances. Paul simply chose to focus on the good in his life. He chose to focus on Jesus.

In your life, there might be 99% of your life that is bad, broken, dysfunctional and out of your control, and there might only be 1% of your life that is currently good. While you might not be able to change the percentages, you can control what you choose to dwell on. If you want to be happy, focus on the good in your life. If you’re a Christian, you’ve got an unwavering good that will never leave you, the Holy Spirit.

Ask God for help.

A few verses later in Philippians 4, Paul tells the Christians to call out to God when they feel anxious. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7). If you want peace instead of anxiety, if you want happiness instead of unhappiness, learn to pray to God.

A key component of this kind of prayer is thanksgiving, as mentioned by Paul. Many times our prayers are cries of desperation, which carry with it the undercurrent that God can’t or won’t change our circumstances. When we choose to spend time in thanksgiving before God, reminding ourselves of all the times God has provided for us in the past and present, it shifts our mindset from our deficiency to God’s sufficiency.

Learn to celebrate.

“Rejoice” simply means to celebrate. When Paul tells Christians to be happy through rejoicing, he’s telling them to develop the discipline of celebration. And it is a discipline, it takes intentionality, and it leads to happiness. Too many times we see God doing something in the lives of others and we’re jealous. Instead, we should celebrate.

If you have another day to live, if you have breath in your lungs, if you can go outside and see a beautiful sunset or gaze up into the heavens at night, if you can sense God’s provision in your life, then you have a reason to celebrate. This should spill over into churches as well. Instead of making churches seem like a funeral service as if Jesus is still dying on the cross, church should be a celebration of the resurrection and the lives that are continually being changed because of it. Do you want to be happier? Find something to celebrate, anything, and celebrate it.

Repeat daily.

When Paul tells the Christians in Philippians 4:4 to rejoice, he makes sure to let them know that rejoicing is supposed to happen “always.” Why is that? Because the negativity of this world will relentlessly beat you down like waves on a shore. This world will never stop trying to steal your joy. You can be in the happiest mood and then one negative thought, one fleeting emotion, one call or text can destroy your happiness like a house of cards and put you right back in the pit of despair. You can genuinely rejoice in the Lord on a Sunday at church and still legitimately argue with your family on the way to lunch afterwards.

So whether it’s daily or even hourly, walk through these steps. Choose to be happy. Decide that your will is going to be stronger than your emotions. Quit blaming others for your unhappiness. Focus on the good in your life. Ask God for help. Learn to celebrate.