Make the Shift
Now, it’s time to go from allowing fear to hold you back to using it to propel yourself forward. And to do this, you’re going to have to have an intimate conversation with your fear.
“Being willing to sit in a room together,” writes Ulmer, “is the first step you take to end a strained relationship with anyone, be it a lover, parent…or any of your 10,000 voices.” Once you do that, “With good communication, put aside your agenda, show them respect, and apologize.”
It is here that you make the shift from fearing fear to trusting and being curious about fear. Bring it out into the light so that it doesn’t have to work in the darkness. Do this, and it will become an ally and an asset.
For example, if you’re open and honest about your fear, it will speak clearly to you. Gone will be the nebulous anxiety. Instead, you’ll simply feel a healthy, motivating fear that helps you get your work done more quickly, that helps you get that raise. And when you go home at the end of the day, that fear can simply stop—its job is done. It doesn’t have to keep trying to warn you from “the basement,” as Ulmer puts it.
Once you do this, you can move on to the final step—the one that grants true freedom from the chains of fear.