4 Ways to Remind Yourself You Are Loved

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Everyone has days where they are feeling lonely or unloved. These moments could come after a fight with a loved one or after you move to a new area. When this happens, you may need a reminder that people care for you. This need is completely natural and normal. Human beings are social creatures. Without your extended family, clan, tribe or whatever you want to call the group of people you are closest to, you would not be a mentally healthy person. The innate need for love is evident in what happens to humans who are consumed by those feelings of being unloved. They become depressed. In fact, loneliness and a sense of isolation are some of the leading causes for depression. This need for companionship, compassion and care is also the reason that solitary confinement can take such a serious toll on a person. No matter how independent you like to believe you are, there is no escaping the biological reality that you need other people. Thankfully, most people already recognize this about themselves. They know they need other people and so are not surprised when after a fight or a move they want reassurance that they are loved. Here are four ways to remind yourself that you are loved.

Reread Old Notes

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Regardless of whether you are married or single, you probably have at least one sweet note from a loved one tucked away. This note could be an old birthday card from your father who wrote you a touching birthday wish. It could be a ridiculous email exchange between you and a sibling. It could even be a text exchange as simple as “Love you!” “Love you too! Goodnight!” Those little notes are a reminder that your family and friends care about you.

If you are someone who normally deletes old emails or texts, take a screenshot of one of these exchanges next time you have one. Then, you can refer to the picture when you want a reminder that you are loved. You can also save special emails into a folder. If you are worried about chewing up memory space, you can save selectively, and keep only the ones that really make you feel special.

Reexamine Old Photos

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Photographs are a window into the past. They can beautifully capture the emotions a person was feeling in the moment and transport a later viewer back to that point in time. Photographs can even cause people to remember details or events they had otherwise forgotten.

Just like with old notes, old pictures are a good way to remind yourself that you are loved. Photos of you and a loved one hugging or laughing not only provide visible proof of love, they also can trigger memories of that particular moment. A wedding photo not only shows you and your spouse kissing, it can cause you to remember that the wind felt wet because there was rain on its way or to remember how you and your spouse had laughed at how the sand kept sinking under the bridesmaids’ high heels. Those little details help bring the emotions you felt in the picture back to the forefront of your mind. Given that you probably keep most of your pictures on your phone, you can pull up those images and memories any time you wish.

Call Someone You Love

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Sometimes reminders of past moments of love are not enough to keep you going. When this happens, one of the best ways to remind yourself you are loved is to pick up the phone, and call a loved one. Whether that person is your sister, your mother, your spouse or your best friend, hearing a familiar voice can be enough to turn a terrible day into a decent one. When you call, you can either go the direct route and tell your loved one you are feeling lonely and unloved, or you can start the conversation by mentioning that you miss your loved one. The most common response to this statement is “I miss you, too” which is sometimes enough of a reminder that you are loved. There is also something to be said for the direct route. While it may seem melodramatic, saying that you need some love is an accurate way to describe your feelings and make sure that you get what you need from the conversation instead of dancing around the issue for an hour.

Read Your Bible

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If old notes and pictures are not doing the trick and you cannot call your loved ones, it may be time to break out the big guns. Put down the phone and stop searching for love on Facebook. Instead pick up your Bible. Find the verses that talk about God’s love, and take a few minutes to bask in the knowledge that God loves you even when life seems determined to both knock you off your feet and kick you while you are down.

When you use your Bible for reassurance, avoid passages that describe God’s wrath or listings of the myriad of ways to commit sins. When you are already feeling down, you might either start to think that you are too much of a sinner for God to love you or begin to convince yourself that you are actually a murderous adulterer despite the fact that you are a single adult who still carries spiders outside instead of squashing them.