Getting Over the 'It's Not Fair Syndrome'

You Can't Always Get What You Want

Life may not always seem fair, but we can learn to roll with the punches and make new choices along the way.

By Anne Mattos-Leedom

I remember so clearly sitting next to my dad as we drove through town. I was discussing some injustice I had suffered and he looked directly at me and said, “no one ever said life was fair.” I was completely devastated. Later on as my marriage crumbled in spite of my ongoing efforts to hold it together, I could still hear those words echo in my heart. Now as I raise two kids alone, attempt to create new relationships and build a business, I am forced every day to face this inevitable truth. I decided to stop running from the obvious and to accept my dad’s wisdom, albeit with the help of a few sound strategies I’ve learned along the way.

We will all face loss, unexpected change and feeling like the rug has been pulled out from beneath us. Some of us are recovering from harsh realities that will take time to heal. I wanted to share what worked for me. Here are my top ten ways to get over the “it’s not fair syndrome."

Anne Leedom is the Founder of Net Connect Publicity, LifePalz.com and Parentingbookmark.com. Her latest project is the Advice for Life series for iTunes, a series of expert based advice Apps offering the latest resources in parenting, relationships, health, inspiration and life in general. She is frequently quoted in national media. She lives in Northern California with her two daughters. For more information visit http://www.adviceforlifetips.com/ and www.parentingbookmark.com.

Relinquish Resentment and Set New Goals

Often we work very hard to achieve something that just doesn’t work out and we are disappointed, or even devastated. It feels like life will fall apart. Adding injury to insult, if we see someone else succeed at what we hoped for—especially if that person does not seem as dedicated or hardworking—it is only human to feel resentful. However, holding on to that frustration can keep you from moving forward. If whatever you are working on is not working, take a step back, re-assess and set a new goal that has a better chance of success. Use other people’s success as motivation and model to do better yourself. It doesn’t matter if it should have worked. If it isn’t working, move on.