No matter what I write about, my novels always seem to have a strong mother character.  Inevitably, this character is inspired by my own astonishing mother, Mary-Anne Westley.  From a dorm pay phone, a hostel in Nairobi, a restaurant in Athens, or the bench at my neighborhood playground, I've talked with her every day of my life.


Once a writer and model for Vogue and Mademoiselle, my mother settled happily into the role of full-time mom for sixteen years.  When she left my abusive father, she worked for the phone company and then a chemical gas company, trying to make vibrant copy out of dull facts and figures.  She put me and my two sisters through college, commuting over an hour to work until her retirement last year.  Money was tight, but Mom never faltered, always inspiring us with her graceful acceptance of the way things had turned out.  Now that I am a mother myself, I've been able to put some of her rules into practice.


Rule Number One:  When in doubt, throw a party.


When my mother left my father, she left behind a giant house and many fair-weather friends as well.  In our new, smaller house (next door to Mom's former golf caddy), we all felt a little lost.  When Christmas rolled around, Mom refused to get gloomy.  She planned her annual Christmas party, inviting not only the country-club set, but our new neighbors as well: Lou, who had a few cars on his front lawn; Jim, who we suspected was a drug dealer.  The same bartender drove across town to our new address, and Mom placed the Harrington's ham, meatballs, and cheese ball on the dining room table in the middle of our crummy new house.  When we dimmed the lights and lit candles, it felt like home.


Rule Number Two:  When times get tough, the tough go shopping.


My mother is always beautifully dressed; my sisters and I regularly steal her clothes.  When she had to work on telephone lines due to a strike at her company, she came home with a DKNY denim pantsuit, which she paired with pearls each morning.


At one point, while I was in college, my mother lost her job.  I knew she was nervous about paying the mortgage, so when she left a message saying she had fantastic news, I called back immediately.


"You got a job?" I asked.


"Oh, no," she said cheerily, "but Manda, that sweater you loved went on sale at Bloomingdale's!  I bought it!"


Rule Number Three:  Believe—and believe in—your children.