Every year at Lent, people make it a point to give up something that they enjoy. You have probably done so in the past. You dedicated yourself to spending 40 days without something in order to follow the tradition Jesus set when He spent 40 days and 40 nights fasting in the desert. If you are like most people, though, you did not give up anything truly important. You probably gave up something you enjoy that, realistically, you are overindulging in anyway. For a large number of people, this means giving up their favorite junk food item. Millions of people every year declare that they are going to go 40 days without eating chocolate, drinking soda, munching on potato chips or indulging in alcohol. Others give up either a bad habit, such as complaining and swearing, or use Lent to try and cut back on something they really should be spending less time on anyway, such as social media or taking selfies. 

Modern Lenten “sacrifices,” are not really sacrifices at all. They also completely miss the point of giving something up for Lent. The point is not to spend 40 days testing your willpower and wishing with all your might for Easter to arrive faster. The point of giving something up at Lent is to remove something from your life that is distracting you from God. The odds are that neither chocolate nor swearing is keeping you from spending time with God. With that in mind, here are six things to stop giving up for Lent.

Chocolate is perhaps the thing given up the most during Lent. Millions of people set aside their sweet tooth during Lent and make chocolate, donuts or something similar their sacrifice. This, however, is a waste of Lent. Your body no doubt thanks you for taking a break from the sugar, but giving up chocolate does not do much for your spirit. It is highly unlikely that your sweet tooth is somehow keeping you away from God. If it is, Godspeed. Carry on and ditch the chocolate.

Assuming you are not one of the four people on the planet who are being distracted from God by sugar, sweets are not a good thing to give up for Lent. Instead, give up something that really does keep you overly focused on this world. If you spend too much time taking selfies and boasting about your life on social media, put a moratorium on bragging for Lent. It will be harder to police than simply throwing out your secret stash of Hershey bars, but it will help you grow more humble, Christlike and closer to God.

When something tells you to give up an entire food group, run in the opposite direction. Diets that cut out food groups are dangerous, and giving up a food group entirely for Lent is not a good idea either. It certainly is a greater sacrifice than simply passing on the donuts your coworker brought, and it does more closely echo Christ’s own time in the desert. Jesus, however, was pitting Himself against Satan. You are pitting yourself against the nutritional needs of your body. Spoiler alert, you will lose. 

Giving up food groups deprives you of vital nutrients. You might be able to get away with spending a month as a vegetarian, but that is only if you have done the necessary preparation for it. Vegetarians do not eat normal meals but simply skip the meat. They have to completely restructure their entire diet. People who do not eat meat are always at risk of developing anemia or protein deficiencies. To rectify potential deficiencies, they have to make sure they are getting enough of those nutrients through other sources. This takes quite a bit of research because there are so many nutrients in meat, and none of them are ones your body can part with and remain healthy. It is doable, but very few people put in that kind of work prior to Ash Wednesday.

Giving up something you love might make a decent Lent sacrifice, but you also have to be honest with yourself about how that loss will make you feel. Lent is about growing closer to God, not making yourself miserable. If you spend 40 days hating life, you are not deepening your relationship with Christ. You are simply driving everyone around you up the wall by being Johnny Rain Cloud. 

Giving up music is, for most people, a serious sacrifice. Before you go about doing so, however, think about what that sacrifice will mean as well as why you are doing it. Giving up something big simply to say you did so sounds like something a Pharisee would do. Hint, they are not great role models for during Lent. Instead, consider giving up a type of music. For example, you could decide that during Lent you are not going to listen to music that has explicit lyrics, or you are going to stick to Christian music. Both of those help you draw closer to God by ditching inappropriate language or listening to people glorifying God every day. They are also less likely to make you drive your friends and family up the wall. 

Jesus may have spent 40 days in solitude in the desert, but for the average person, avoiding social contact for 40 days is a psychological disaster waiting to happen. Human beings are social creatures. Even the most introverted people still crave interpersonal relationships. Deciding that for Lent you are not going to go out with friends is a real quick way to find yourself dealing with crippling loneliness and potentially harming your relationships with your friends. After all, 40 straight days can be a long time to go without seeing someone. Such a decision also has the potential to cut you off from your support network in a big way, and it can even cause you to become resentful of God. As the days drag on and the stress of isolation builds, you may find yourself blaming God for requiring you to do something so extreme even when this was your choice. Growing closer to God is something Jesus would support. Psychological self-harm, however, is not something He would ask of you. 

Most people are desperate to carve out a little more time for their hobbies, so giving them up for Lent may not be a great idea. In today’s busy world, finding time for things that make you truly happy or help you manage your stress levels is not always easy. As such, it is a mistake to give them up. You need to be able to relieve stress which can be difficult if you have given up something that helps you relax and recharge. Giving up hobbies might also cause you problems later. If you are not working on your hobbies during Lent, you are likely filling those hours with something else. When Lent is over, it might not be easy to reclaim those hours you used to spend on your hobby. Making time for your hobbies takes effort, and 40 days is more than enough time to slide out of those good habits that allowed you to have time for your hobbies. As such, you might give up a hobby for Lent and still be struggling to reclaim it at Christmas.

“Honey, you are a distraction and keeping me from developing a close relationship with God. So, I need you to stay at arms’ length from me during Lent.” That is a great conversation to have shortly after Valentine’s Day. After all, everyone wants to hear that their presence is detrimental to the health of their partner’s eternal soul. 

You likely did not mean to imply anything of that sort, but that is what your partner might hear if you announce that for Lent you are giving up all physical intimacy. It is your choice, obviously, but your partner might well be confused and hurt. Also, where is the line? Does this mean that you two are simply going to stop having sex for a month or does physical intimacy also include a kiss goodnight?

In addition to potentially causing problems in your relationship, completely abandoning physical intimacy for Lent might simply be a case of you shooting yourself in the foot. Bouts of celibacy work well for some people. For others, it simply makes them more obsessed with the object of their affections. For them, lacking an outlet simply makes them more lustful, sort of like trying not to think about pink elephants. Unless you know which category you fall into, pushing your partner away for Lent is probably not a good idea. 

If you want to give something up for Lent, choose a sacrifice that matters to you. If you give up soda, you may have cravings for a week, but then it goes away. Instead, set aside something that actually matters. Do not give up something simply so you can tell people that you are not eating donuts during Lent or because that is what you have always done. Instead, put some thought into what is really keeping you from God. Give that up for Lent and use the season for its intended purpose, drawing closer to God.