8 Elegant Ways to Handle Anti-Muslim Discrimination

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Anti-Muslim discrimination is on the rise. The Pew Research Center has released a survey that highlights the broad sense of anxiety felt by American Muslims, while a separate Gallup poll shows that this group is far more likely to have experienced racial or religious discrimination than any other religious group.

When this happens in a land that prides itself on its embrace of freedom, something is wrong.

This discrimination, according to the Pew Research Center study, comes from many sources—including the presidency, the media, the workplace, and from everyday interactions with strangers.

If you’re a Muslim who has experienced discrimination in any of these settings, you know how unpleasant and scary it can be. It leaves you feeling sad, angry, afraid, and helpless—but most of all, isolated.

But the truth is this: you’re not helpless, nor are you alone. There are numerous tactics you can use to minimize the impact of discrimination, or even stop it in its tracks. While you can’t control the actions of others, you have full control over your own choices.

We’re going to look at how to make good choices in the face of hatred—choices that will make it clear to others that you’re the one who is in the right. In that light, let’s look at 8 elegant ways to handle anti-Muslim discrimination.

Stay Calm

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The most foundational tip for handling religious discrimination is to remain calm. One of the most insidious tactics bullies employ lies in making you look bad—and they’re good at it.

Imagine this. A co-worker makes anti-Muslim comments to you when no one else is around. One day, he really escalates the verbal abuse, and you lash out, raising your voice and standing in a threatening posture.

He backs up into an open area, where everyone can see that he’s on the defensive, and you’re yelling and angry. No one sees the fact that he’s pushed you to this point, only that you’re acting in a threatening manner.

Suddenly, you’re the bad guy, and few have sympathy when you say that “he started it.”

If you remain calm, instead, you then give yourself the opportunity to employ the rest of the tips we’re going to talk about, and with a much higher chance of success.

Does a person who discriminates against you deserve your anger? Most certainly. But channel that anger constructively, and you’ll pull off an elegant win that will truly stop the hate.

Blow it Off

We’re going to talk about something hard. In fact, this may be the most difficult way of handling religious discrimination of all.

In some situations, you just need to blow it off.

This doesn’t mean excusing discrimination or being a pushover. This simply means withholding the gift of your attention in those situations where you can’t get away from a discriminator, such as when you’re on public transportation.

A bigoted bully often feeds off negative reactions. They live for seeing their “enemies” becomes angry or sad—this makes them feel as if they’ve “won,” providing an addictive rush that keeps them coming back to you. You’re going to break that cycle by ignoring them—at least for now.

Do what you must to excuse yourself from their presence, such as putting on headphones, starting a conversation with someone else, or leaving the area.

Remember, though, that if you’re dealing with a person with whom you have daily contact, this should always be the precursor to another step. Otherwise, you’ve just allowed this person to effectively silence you.

But that’s not going to happen. Read on to find out why.

Confront With Confidence

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You’ve had it. Your bigoted neighbor has made his final insulting remark about your Muslim identity, and you just can’t take it anymore.

It’s time to confront him. But before you do this, you must make sure you’ve got the right attitude.

Remember what we said about remaining calm? That’s the foundation of confronting a discriminator. Now we’re going to build on that foundation by helping you begin the process of confrontation.

That starts with choosing the right place. It is almost never appropriate to confront in private—you put yourself in potential danger, and there will be no witnesses if things get out of hand.

Instead, choose a public place, whether that means an open area at work or on the sidewalk in front of a neighbor’s home. This can keep a situation from escalating.

A part of creating the right environment for confrontation lies in your attitude, as well. Be confident—a discriminator will be looking for signs of insecurity. Remain calm and direct as you speak, and use strong body language, such as squarely facing them, to communicate the seriousness of the situation.

Create the right environment, and you’ll set yourself up for success against someone who dislikes you for your religious choices.

Know Your Counterpoints

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Those who discriminate against others based on religion are operating on a set of assumptions. Unfortunately, there are many such assumptions when it comes to Islam.

One way to stop a discriminator is to challenge these assumptions.

Imagine that someone who you’re forced to work with every day holds a grudge against you because you’re a Muslim. This person criticizes your work, insults you, and treats you badly.

Imagine that one day, this person approaches you and tells you that they don’t think you should be working where you work because Muslims are “inclined toward violence.”

Here’s how to respond.

First, you’re going to ask them for specifics. What, specifically, have you done wrong? Have you hurt anyone? Have you displayed aggression?

The person will be forced to say “no.”

After this, let them know that, while you’re open to professional criticism, you’re not open to discrimination, and that you’ll be glad to have a chat with your supervisor if this person really does think you’re a threat.

Continue by asking them why they think you’re threatening. When they respond with “Islam promotes violence,” be sure to show them a few of the many passages in the Quran which promote kindness, and let them know that a few extremists don’t speak for an entire religion.

For some, this is convincing, and the discrimination will stop. For others, however, a more emotional approach works best, as we're about to see.

Engage Empathy

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Some people just aren’t swayed by intellectual arguments, and no matter how many kindness-affirming verses of the Quran you point out, and no matter how many logical fallacies of theirs you shoot down, they’re going to continue their discrimination.

In this situation, you may still be able to engage their empathy.

To do this, you need to take a discriminator’s cruel remarks and turn them back on the offender. To do this, you can respond with an incredulous “Why would you say that?”

This will derail them, reminding them that you’re a human being—just like them. But don’t stop there.

Ask this person what they would do if your roles were switched. What would this person feel if you were treating them badly because of their culture? What if their son or daughter were discriminated against?

This will—hopefully—sow a seed that may later grow into a greater sense of empathy. Sometimes, all we need is a little reminder that our “enemies” are more like us than they are different.

Set Strong Boundaries

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It’s an unfortunate truth that some who discriminate against Muslim Americans simply will not be put off, and will never stop attempting to hurt, humiliate, and insult.

And so when you’re forced to work and live around such individuals, you’re going to have to set some very strong boundaries.

Boundaries are the proverbial line in the sand—a line that, if crossed, will result in consequences. When you do this, you’ll likely be met with anger and escalation, but if done properly, there will be nothing your discriminator can do.

To set a boundary appropriately, you need to let a discriminator know that, while you will gladly accept appropriate criticism, you will not accept attacks on your faith and culture. Be specific in clarifying what you will and will not accept.

Back with up with consequences. If you’re speaking to a co-worker, this can come in the form of a potential chat with the boss, or an email to human resources. If it’s an acquaintance, neighbor, or other form of unregulated relationship, things become more difficult, but you can use other tips in this list to continue enforcing your boundaries.

Don’t let up—not even for a moment. Others must know that you will not accept discrimination, and that you will act to stop it when it occurs. This will deter all but the most determined attacker.

Ask For Help

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Another common tactic of those who actively discriminate against others is isolation. These people will use social tools like gossip, manipulation, sabotage and outright lies to separate you from your peers.

In this case, you’re going to need help.

If you’re suffering beneath this kind of behavior, seek help by engaging your support network. To begin this process, you’re going to need to begin documenting evidence of the discrimination that’s being levied against you.

Write everything down. Save every offending email. Keep abusive voice mails. Anything that shows the true nature of your attacker is useful in proving your case.

You’ll need to show this evidence to those who can support you, such as supervisors, your homeowners’ association, or in more extreme cases of harassment, a lawyer or the police.

Going to supportive friends and family can also be an emotional gift. Being harassed for what you believe can leave you feeling broken and inferior, but being around those who will affirm you will lift you right back up.

Don’t be afraid to turn to others for help if you’re being harassed. They may be able to help you change your situation.

Get Involved in Activism

Finally, if you’ve been the victim of anti-Muslim discrimination, beat it, and come through on the other side, it may be time to help others do the same.

You can do this by getting involved with organizations that work to combat discrimination. Groups like Muslim Advocates, the Muslim Public Affairs Council, the Council on American-Islamic Relations, and the American-Arab Anti-Discrimination committee advocate for a variety of anti-discrimination legislation and awareness efforts.

This is incredibly important—we can do so much more together than we can do separately. These groups can affect discrimination awareness at the national level, freeing Muslims all across America from the effects of harmful assumptions and abusive behavior.

Prejudice against practitioners of Islam is both widespread and growing—it’s time to stop it for good. Whether you give your time, knowledge, or money, these groups will appreciate your efforts, and you’ll be helping to bring the world one step closer to true equality.