Disappointed by God
I was a country boy and city life wasn’t easy for me. I found the dirt, the cramped flat, and the smell of the city unbearable. In addition, I had to put up with the scorn the other pupils showed me as village child and for my dialect. I also had to conceal my Christian faith and all in all, it became too heavy a burden for me. I got angry with God.
“You must be a tiny, weak God. The gods of the Chinese people seem much bigger and more powerful. There are temples to these gods everywhere, but where are you?”
I understand now how it’s possible for people living through terrible circumstances are unable to believe in God’s love. For me, the realization came later, that even if I could hate God, he still loved me. He didn’t abandon me, even when I wanted to stop following him.