How the Modern Proverbs 31 Woman Uses Facebook

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A Proverbs 31 woman works with eager hands. She helps the needy. She watches over her household, and he gets up early and checks Facebook first thing in the morning.

That’s according to a new study from Barna Group and Proverbs 31, which said that in a typical week, 49 percent of Christian women who use social media check it first thing in the morning.

And once the women are logged on, about 35 percent of the women spend half an hour on each visit to Facebook. Another 25 percent spend 10 to 19 minutes on the site.

According to the study, Christian women log in for multiple reasons: 27 percent log in for curiosity; 23 percent log in out of habit; 23 percent log in for enjoyment; 21 percent log in to feel connected; 20 percent log in to find news; 16 percent log in to fill time; 9 percent because they’re bored; 9 percent to post something; 7 percent to make sure they’re not missing out.

But is this the new Proverbs 31 woman? Is she not only graceful and hardworking, but also active on Facebook? How can we know, as Christian women, if we’re striving to be Proverbs 31 women in today’s world?

After all, most of us are not selecting wool and flax these days nor are we making linen garments and selling them to merchants. Today, we’re Proverbs 31 women in the business world, in the classroom, at home, in police cars, in oilfields, and other places. And keeping us connected to one another: social media.

So how do we use it to glorify God and model ourselves as Proverbs 31 women?

Connections

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The study, which surveyed nearly 500 American women, found that social media had a somewhat or mostly positive effect on 65 percent of Christian women’s lives. That positive response stems mostly from a feeling of connectedness from friends on social media. In fact, a whopping 89 percent of Christian women said they sometimes or usually feel positive after a social media encounter with a friend.

Women love friendships. We love making connections, and these days, many of those connections have moved online as people have moved away or grown older. It’s easier to stay connected through social media. A few clicks and keystrokes and you’ve reached out to an old friend or they’ve said hello back, or you’ve found a high school buddy again or sealed a new friendship after a new meeting at church. Christianity is so much about reaching out to others, and today, even the simplest Facebook note is a way to do that.

It may never rival a true face-to-face meeting or a card in the mail, but social media connections are quickly becoming an accepted form of connection, so we love it when our friends post a photo of us in it. We smile when a new friend adds us on Facebook. Social media has allowed for Christian women to make connections on a whole new level.

Encouragement

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As Christians we are commanded to encourage each other. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”

But encouragement looks a little different these days. Maybe your friend posts an update saying she’s having an MRI tomorrow or she’s going back to work for the first time after being a stay-at-home mom. Our response as Proverbs 31 women should be to encourage her— even if it’s just a few lines on Facebook or Instagram.

The study was interesting on this side as well, saying that 20 percent of Christian women agreed that one of the “best things” about social media was the spiritual encouragement. So maybe it is possible to be a Proverbs 31 woman with a social media account.

Not for Comparison

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Interestingly, the study said that 86 percent of Christian women don’t normally feel jealous of other people’s lives after spending time online. That means we’re using it well. Let’s keep that up. Galatians 1:10 says, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

Social media isn’t for comparison. It isn’t for pretty filters and whitewashed lives, and it seems the Proverbs 31 woman has a handle on that notion. We’ve realized that social media is larger than perfect photos of perfect lives and we’re using it to tell big stories, to stay connected and to be there for one another. Let’s continue to use it well and stay away from comparing our feed to others’.

Not for a Waste of Time

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The biggest temptation social media seems to pose for Christian women these days is a tendency to be distracted from other things. About 30 percent said it could be a waste of time and 22 percent said it was a distraction from getting things done.

We know the Proverbs 31 works hard. We know she doesn’t idle. We know she probably doesn’t waste time or get distracted, and while none of us will ever be the perfect Proverbs 31 wife, it’s our prayer that we work to model her Christlikeness.

We can’t allow social media to rule over us by becoming a waste of time. 1 Corinthians 6:12 says, “'All things are lawful for me,' but not all things are helpful. 'All things are lawful for me,' but I will not be dominated by anything."

So that might mean not checking Facebook first thing in the morning and doing a devotional instead. That might mean limiting social media time until other tasks are completed. It might mean learning to use social media the way a Proverbs 31 woman would use it.