Can Christians find lasting love on the Internet?

Love on the line

You can waste a lot of time online chasing what you don't want, writes Dr. Ali Binazir in The Tao of Dating. Here's the timeline of a typical online courtship for a guy: He sees a profile of a woman he likes. He writes her. A day or two later, he gets a response. An online correspondence ensues. If she's receptive, the conversation moves to email after a few exchanges. If her interest continues, they speak on the phone, and begin to plan a meeting. A week or two later, after anywhere from three to 10 or more points of online- and phone contact, they meet in person. And sometimes, that’s the end of it. They take one look at each other and “in an instant, all those hours spent on witty emails, all of that effort to be charming on the phone, learning all about him or impressing her go whoosh! And worst of all, you kinda feel like a fool for building it all up in your mind for naught.”

Love on the line

Some people will email you instantly asking for your email address and as soon as you give it, you are inundated with dating spam while never hearing from that person again. So, set up an anonymous email account, advises the Dating Tipster. “When you're ready to communicate with someone outside of the security of the online dating service you are using, you may want to consider using an email account from a service like Yahoo, Hotmail, or Go.com. Be sure to change your account information to not give out your full name. Doing this helps protect your privacy more as it's fairly easy to get information on a person based on their actual email address that they've used for years.

Love on the line

Online sites present an unhelpful excess of choice, writes Dr. Binazir. “The central premise of Barry Schwartz's 2003 book The Paradox of Choice: Why Less is More -- which everyone should read -- is that more choice does not make us happier. More choice actually makes us more miserable. Why? First, it makes the selection process burdensome. Picking one jam out of three possible tasty choices is easy. Picking one out of 43 is well-nigh torture. Second, it causes us to second-guess any decision that we do render. Online dating sites are a classic case of too much choice. A search on a major site for matches in your city may yield thousands of results. So much possibility! Or so it may seem. So which ones do you pursue? The good-looking ones that, because everyone else is also pursuing, never respond (see section above on wasted time)?

Love on the line

Online dating can work, but realize that most Internet matches do not lead to long-term relationships, and that online dating can take a lot of time, writes Paris in Christian Today. “God knows your desire for a relationship with the opposite sex. He's a good matchmaker: he paired Adam and Eve, Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah, and many other model biblical couples. The promise in Philippians 4:19 that God will supply all your needs doesn't refer only to food, shelter, and clothing, notes Paris. “Trust him to provide in his timing. Until and after he does provide, deepen your relationship through prayer and study of his Word. Live an obedient life in your attitudes, desires, priorities, motives, and commitments.”