Balancing Life and Discipleship

Disciples of Christ

As Christians, we are called to be Disciples of Christ, and the cost of this discipleship is everything. This will require giving up things in your life that are taking away from your relationship with Christ. This will require you to say no to temptations and things of this world. The Bible talks about the cost of following Christ in detail. We are told in Luke 9:23 (in reference to Jesus) “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” You will face trials, loneliness and suffering but the reward far outweighs the trials, loneliness or suffering you will face during this earthly life. Are you looking to grow across the course of a lifetime into a more prayerful, mature disciple of Christ? Here are six ways to balance life and discipleship, inspired by the book “Living in the Sacred” by Ronald Rolheiser.

Have a Destination

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If you’re on the road to mature discipleship, it’s important that you have a destination, an ultimate goal. Author Stephen Covey describes ultimate goal in his bestselling book “The 7 Habits for Highly Effective People” as beginning with the end in mind. Ask yourself what that goal is. Also, ask yourself what would the “full bloom” of discipleship look mature discipleship look like? The answer can be found in the instruction Jesus gives to his followers to “Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Jesus isn’t saying that we must become slaves to perfectionism (that is humanly impossible) but to be perfect as our God is perfect. Rolheiser explains that the perfection of God to which Jesus points is God’s demonstration of the fullness of compassion. Jesus is saying to us “Be compassionate as your heavenly Father is compassionate.”

Know the Phases of Discipleship

Rolheiser suggests that we divide our spiritual development into three life chapters: Essential Discipleship, Mature or Generative Discipleship and Radical Discipleship. The first phase, Essential Discipleship, is the time where we are working at building our lives and becoming adults. This period begins at birth and can be described as the “getting our act together period.” After this phase, we enter the period of Generative or Mature Discipleship, where our gaze shifts. We are no longer focusing inward at ourselves, but looking outward. In the final stage, Radical Discipleship, our questions begin to change. We are no longer consumed in the task of contributing, or making a difference. We see the end of life. During this phase we inquire into how our departure will have the greatest impact. We ask ourselves “How can I live so that my death will be an optimal blessing for my family, my church and the world.” Like Jesus, we are called give our lives away in generosity and selflessness. While some will journey through all of the three stages, others will not.

Be Willing to Share What’s Personal

As Christians, it’s important that this support system includes other Christians who are walking on a similar faith journey. Form a group with those who are on that same path and check in with each other daily or weekly. Ask each other the questions “How are you right now” or “what good news do you have to share”. This is time to pause, and reflect with a support team about the struggles you may be experiencing in your personal and spiritual life. It is also a time to reflect on the gratitude that you are presenting to God. One person in the group may have a prayer concern that they need lifted up like “They announced layoffs at my firm and I find myself worrying” and your answer may simply be “I’m here and I’m glad I’m giving myself this time with you and with God.” This personal sharing will allow you, and others you are connected with to form a safe space where we can openly share where we are experiencing brokenness in our lives. This openness will lead to healing.

Not Placing Work First

Many of us are Workaholics, placing work before all other obligations. Like any addiction, there is so much temptation to place work first. By doing this, we can become slaves to the need to generate income and start to lose ourselves in those commitments. When we find ourselves in this cycle we begin to believe that what we do is more important than who we are. Workaholism turns our approval away from God towards approval from society. It’s important that we think of work not as a sole money generator or a place where we seek approval, but as a space to reflect God’s love and mission. It’s important that we take time out to separate ourselves from our work so that we not only have time to rejuvenate, but also so that we don’t lose sight of God and fall victim to building our identity in the world.