7 Biggest Misfits of the Bible

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All who were down on their luck came around - losers and vagrants and misfits of all sorts. And David became their leader in the Army of the Lord. - 1 Samuel 22:2

Have you ever felt that you are like a character from Rudolph’s island of misfit toys? You might have felt like an outsider who finds yourself living on the margins, chronically misunderstood by everyone else. You are not the only one.

God made sure to feature people in the Bible that were oddballs, black sheep, rebels and cranks that are just like me and you. I used the think the Bible was a nice book for nice people, but then when I actually read it I realized that no one, even those in the Bible, are perfect. We instead are all made to be our own individuals.

Here are some of the biggest misfits in the Bible.

David

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In sixth grade, I was riding my bike through the woods behind the apartments in that hour between dusk and the first stars shining. In the upper window of a townhouse a thirty-something redhead slipped off her dress. Nothing about her tight tan girdle and control-top panty hose seemed enticing. I did not immediately pedal away. She pulled a hairbrush slowly through her tangles, staring into the mirror until she began to cry. Then she broke down sobbing and threw the brush against the wall.

Later that night, I felt guilty. Coach Shirley taught Sunday School so I confessed everything to her the next day.

“David did twice bad as that,” she said, spitting sunflower seeds into an empty can of Orange Crush. “He watched this lady take a shower then had her husband killed so he could move in.”

“Who?” I asked. My family didn’t go to church.

“King David, baby. From the Bible,” she explained. “One time he even danced naked in the street. And God still called him a man after his own heart.”

“Oh,” I told her. “Okay. Thanks.”

I walked away thinking if all that was true, maybe there was hope for me too.

Paul

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Short, bald, stubborn, tactless, harsh & weak with failing eyesight.

From Scripture: “…his personal presence is unimpressive, and as for eloquence, he has none.” By his own admission, really good at sinning. Told women to cover their heads and keep quiet in church.

Strangely enough, he never married.

Despite his troubling resume, he was still hand-picked to write two-thirds of the New Testament. With the understanding that he would tone it down. Which resulted in a kinder, gentler Paul.

When Peter came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he was completely wrong (Galatians 2:11).

I wish that those who are upsetting you would castrate themselves! (Galatians 5:12).

Or maybe not.

Peter

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I met a professional fisherman once. He had a curse word tattooed on his knuckles and they were all scarred up from fighting in bars. But Peter got saved. Then he cut some guy's ear off. And then he said the F-word in Aramaic and denied Christ three times quick even when he was warned beforehand what would happen.

Peter was fishing naked when Jesus returned, and put his clothes back on before he jumped into the water to swim to shore. After that, I think he re-committed his life to the Lord and teamed up with Paul to do evangelism.

Then Peter and Paul got in a fight.

Jesus could have built his church on John, y’know. Or Luke. Mark or Matthew or even Paul. But he chose the most temperamental, undependable apostle of the bunch.

There’s probably a secret message in there somewhere.

Me

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For all have sinned and fallen short? That’s me. Like sheep they have all gone astray? Right here. As a dog returns to its vomit so a fool repeats his folly? I am that fool.

The least of these? Here I am.

Sometimes we portray Christians as people who are good at doing life, standing on the hilltop, smiling and stylish with arms lifted in the sun. I am not one of those Christians. I am Peter cursing and falling beneath the waves, Noah fed up and drunk, Thomas doubting, David tip-toeing to get a second peek, Jonah at midnight in the belly of the whale, Elisha calling down bears, I am mismatched and muddy and ragged and if there is a hill I’m falling down it backwards with both feet in the air.

In other words – I’m one of you. One of us. The misfits.

See, I know a secret. One that came from a long season of working the churches, jails and psych wards of a Bible belt town. Everybody’s a wreck behind the scenes. We are all screw-ups, stumbling through, lusting and loving and trying and killing and giving and living and dying and wondering why.

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