5 Ways Christians Can Love Gay People

Over the past couple weeks, I’ve watched our nation split apart into corners of the boxing ring, both sides seemingly bloodthirsty for a fight. As a country, we’ve never been more at divisive odds with hurtful comments, sentiments and statements spewing from our keyboards, and even worse, out of our mouths. I am a Jesus-loving Believer and I also happen to have a gay sister, whom I love dearly, so I have found myself in the crux of this difficult and fragile controversy for the better part of 14 years. What this ever-present debate (with both sides sharing fault in behavior) has taught me, is something that has not been easy to swallow, but it is this: a lot of Christians have missed the mark on this issue. I know that seems like a harsh generalization and it certainly doesn’t represent all Christians of course, but I simply have just found it to be consistently true in my experience. With all the judgement and intolerance, I’ve realized that there is something terribly and fundamentally wrong within some churches and the attitude towards homosexuals. While I don’t have any magical answers, I have been seeking God’s wisdom for years and can provide a perspective to, hopefully, bridge the gap between Christians and homosexuals. My intention is not to defend/argue a position or discuss homosexuality—it’s about about human beings and how to best respond to them.

It shouldn't be "us vs. them"

I’ve spent several years watching most of the LGBT community distance themselves from the church for one simple reason—to protect themselves. To them, a war has been waged and they have no choice but to retrieve and defend themselves. The "us vs them" narrative has been established and most gay people don’t feel that they would be accepted into a church if they stepped foot in one—so many of them don’t. I don’t know about you, but that totally breaks my heart in thinking our behavior could somehow prevent someone from wanting to know Jesus. Our church doors should be open to everyone. Our judgment and intolerance of them is destroying any potential relationship we could have with them. Even more so, it makes for a terrible evangelism tool. As Christ followers, the only message we should be sending people is one of love—any other contrary message is a total credibility killer to the witness of Jesus.

Our keyboards are weapons

As Christians, our views on homosexuality are best expressed in two-way dialogue. To me, that means anything presented in a linear, one-way fashion (*ahem* like Facebook or Twitter) doesn’t really present a fair opportunity for a real conversation. I love the power of social media and being able to spread God’s word through it, but even with the best intentions of posting, these platforms can at times come across aggressive and attacking. What’s missing from our keyboards is the most powerful part of communication—tone and listening. If you want someone to listen to you, you need to be able to earnestly listen to them. If you want someone to respect your beliefs, you need to be able to treat theirs with respect. Jesus said it best, "do to others as you would have them do to you." (Luke 6:31). Perhaps think twice before hitting "post" on that article and how it can come across to unbelievers that you may be trying to reach.

God defines us

It’s unfair to define someone by their sexuality, their race, their sin, their etc. The only definition of a person that matters is that God deems them worthy. Worthy enough that He sent His son to die for you, me, them…everyone. (Harken back to Bible verse found in John 3:16). Staying strong in your beliefs, doesn’t mean you have to compromise them in order to love someone and treat them with gentleness and respect. Peter presents to us a great example of this in 1 Peter 3:15, "But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect." Because at the end of the day, we are not all that different because we were all created in God’s image.