One thing you probably don’t talk about much in the church is sex. For many Christians, it feels like a dirty or taboo topic. And with the way society has normalized poor sexual behaviors, it’s not a surprise people are feeling that way. However, God designed sex to be a special moment shared between married couples. He wants you to enjoy being intimate and connect with your spouse in a physical way. When sex is used to glorify God, it shouldn’t be looked at as shameful. Mark 10:8-9 says “and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together let no one separate.”
Not all couples connect physically right off the bat, but that’s normal too. Rather than give in to frustration or give up all together, consider asking God for guidance. He did design it, after all. The Bible gives us great guidance on how to have a better sex life, and how we can talk with God about it. Here are some tips.
Prayer For a Fulfilling Sex Life
Proverbs 5:18-19 says "Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.” Our Creator gave married couples sex as a tool to not only have children, but to enjoy each other on a physical level. God wants us to enjoy our spouse and be satisfied. This is further echoed in Song of Solomon 1:2 which says "Kiss me and kiss me again, for your love is sweeter than wine." The following prayer will help encourage a healthy and fulfilling sex life between you and your spouse.
Dear Lord, I want my physical relationship with my spouse to be just as strong as our emotional relationship. We have a great foundation of love, care, and compassion between each other. I want to extend that further into other forms of intimacy where we both can feel satisfied. I pray that I can be fulfilling to my spouse's needs, and that they can turn to me and we can find delight in each other. Amen.
Prayer to Keep the Passion Alive
Proverbs 5:27 says "Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act." Think back to how you felt the last time your spouse rejected your intimate advances. It feels kind of crappy, right? Everyone wants to feel desired on more than just an emotional level. Withholding intimacy from your spouse, or having it withheld from you, can break the passion you have together as a couple. It's important to set aside time to really fulfill each other's needs. This is again brought up in Song of Solomon 5:16, which says “His mouth is sweetness itself; he is desirable in every way. Such, O women of Jerusalem, is my lover, my friend.” Here is a prayer to help keep your desire burning.
Dear Lord, I pray that my spouse will always keep a desire to want me and that I have a desire to want them. When we reject each other physically, it hurts us in ways we might not readily see. Help guide us in ensuring we keep that passion between us alive! Song of Songs 6:10 says “I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me.” Don’t let us ever feel that waiver. We want to bring each other the joy and happiness that comes from your special design. The love we have for each other is a reminder of how we want to be close to each other. I pray we never lose that. Amen.
Prayer to Rid Anxiety
Physical intimacy is a very vulnerable and raw place to experience and that can cause anxiety in people. Some may have struggles with their body image and want to hide, while others may have difficulty finding ways to make sex feel enjoyable which can be overwhelming. Furthermore, whenever sex in a marriage is a struggle it can bring out more concerns, stress and fear. This isn't something your marriage has to deal with alone. God, in 1 Peter 5:7, says "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." This prayer will help you and your spouse release some of that nervousness off of your shoulders.
Our God, when it comes to physical intimacy I am overwhelmed by anxiety and stress. I sometimes do not see myself the way you see me. I forget to be compassionate with myself, and run out of patience with the experience. Help for me to identify what the cause of my anxiety is, and give me guidance on how to combat the problem. My marriage deserves to see sexual intimacy as a positive release, rather than a thing that causes us stress. I know with your help we will be able to find that. Amen!
Prayer is a powerful tool. Mark 11:24 says "I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours." Even when it comes to physical intimacy, God is there and able to help you navigate it. It was created by Him for our happiness, joy, and connection to others. Don't feel discouraged if you aren't fulfilled just yet.