What is the formula for a Christ-centered marriage? First realize that no matter what you will have disagreements, and that not every relationship is sheer bliss.
There will be disagreements, imbalances, and annoyances. We all make mistakes, but it is when we realize that we made them that we can grow in the relationship and in Christ. We will look at the dos and don’ts of a Christian marriage, and how to we can grow together and during our own walk. Are there rules we can go buy? Yes, the Bible is a blueprint for our lives and marriages.
We can start with Isaiah:
"Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, “I am the LORD your God, who teaches you to profit, Who leads you in the way you should go. “If only you had paid attention to My commandments! Then your well-being would have been like a river, And your righteousness like the waves of the sea.”
We still need to pay attention to the commandments of God like love, forgiveness, mercy and learning to let go of the faults of others. Jesus taught to respect each other.
Just because we got married doesn’t mean we still don’t implement these principles into our relationships marriages. We will have arguments and we will get mad at each other, but we also let it go and forgive them and love them as ourselves.
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.”
Changing our behavior patterns is paramount to a good relationship. You need to forgive those who wronged you in the past as if there are old wounds it will impact the marriage. Forgive yourself and them.
Luke talks about this. “If another believer sins, rebuke him; then if he repents, forgive him. Even if he wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, forgive him.” Be proactive and find scriptures that go with your situation. This will help you during times of challenges or even when you have nothing more to give. Don’t take each other for granted. Love each other, and spend time doing things you both love!
Time is short. “Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun (Ecclesiastes 9:9).”
Love them even though you want to throw a pillow at them due to bad behavior. Try communicating with your spouse about frustrations and confide in them. We need to accept each other for who we are. We don’t condone bad behavior, but we can accept each other for our flaws. 1 John 4:7-8: "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love."
Be there for them and be their safe place. We need to go to our spouse when we need to vent or need shelter from the world. Be that for them. Remember the power of God and keep prayer at the center of the relationship. Resit the temptation to go outside the marriage or have an emotional affair. It is the same thing. "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God *is *faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it (1 Corinthians 10:13).” Pray together and for each other for a covering. There is power in two. Prayer should be essential for the relationship and to remain in tune with God.
Ask for wisdom to be a better leader or serve your spouse better. If you are strong willed, humble and seek God to help you deal with it. Being over independent can harm a marriage, as well as demanding your own way.
2 Chronicles 7:14 : “If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”
If you don’t know what to do, see a marriage counselor or therapist on how you can add to the marriage. Take responsibility and lean into the lord with the marriage.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”