2016-06-30
Adapted from "The Master of Love" by Augusto Cury and translated by Kenneth Rapoza.

Jesus told parables that made people face their pride and rigidity by stimulating their spirit to break out of their intellectual prison. Not intellectual in the sense of what they knew academically, but intellectual in the way their mind processed thoughts and described their world. Jesus responded to their questions with more questions. Whenever he did give a response, he would always expand the person's horizon of thought. He was truly a great educator. The people who actually walked with Jesus were constantly having their worldviews shattered. His mannerisms and behavior surprised even his disciples who, little by little, ended up refining their old behaviors. When we surprise people, we want to light a fire in their hearts, not stonewall them with negative emotions. I'm reminded of a patient I once had who was entirely capable professionally and intellectually, but was stressed out and had serious problems with one of his daughters. They lived in perpetual argument. I told him that if he wanted to change the nature of his relationship with his daughter, he would have to rewrite the painful images that both of them have constructed about each other in their unconscious memories. The struggle would be to re-edit this emotional message in the psyche, even though it would be impossible to simply delete it as you would with an old word-processing file on your laptop. Moreover, for his daughter to re-edit the negative thoughts she had of her father, he would have to surprise her with unsuspected gestures. One day, he asked his daughter if she could buy a bouquet of flowers for the wife of a friend who was having a birthday. As usual, she refused, saying she was too busy for him. Normally, this rejection would ignite a bomb called a memory trigger; it would open a window in his mind that contained hurtful, negative images of his daughter. So he would react on autopilot in response to those negative memories. He'd remind her that it is because of him that she has a roof over her head, goes to college for free, and has gas in her car. He'd shout that she does not even remotely respect him as a father. They'd leave the room, angry once more. Instead, he did something different because he was learning how to administer his thoughts and manage his emotions. He remained silent and went to the florist by himself, buying a single rose to bring home for his girl. When he returned, he gave her the flower and said that he loved her deeply. He told me that he told her that she was very important to him and he could not imagine his life without her in it. She began to cry because she was shocked by his behavior, but these were not tears of sadness. She didn't know what to say because she was faced with a response she was not expecting. Instead of pain, the autocratic image she had of her father began to be re-edited in the archives of her unconscious mind with something lighter, more positive. Over time, she began to respect him, love him, and listen to him. Meanwhile, the father also re-edited the image of his daughter in his mind with something more positive and began to understand that she has good qualities and not only defects. Today, they're no longer a couple of strangers. They share a life. Jesus was a master engineer of ideas. He constructed rich, social relationships in a short amount of time. The people who lived with him loved him intensely. Multitudes woke up at the crack of dawn just to see him or hear him speak. The Samaritan woman, upon speaking with him, became so enchanted that she became a follower of his teachings, even without knowing who he was. Here was a promiscuous woman, rejected by society, and yet the master of love didn't ask for penance. Instead, he told her that she was too worried and needed the pleasure of finding God, not in Jerusalem or elsewhere, but everywhere we look (John 4:14-30). Jesus' teachings are among the most important examples of intelligent humanity, of the element of surprise, of training personal character, and of preventive psychology (much in the way we have preventive vitamins and minerals for physical health). Those who followed Jesus at the time recaptured their innate love of life and wanted to live forever, instead of focusing on the pain of their surroundings or their own personal sorrows. When Jesus said "Love your neighbor as yourself," he was creating an amazing laboratory for self-esteem, because we know that people who do not love life or wish to end theirs will have a hard time finding emotional energy to love others.

Jesus knew how to teach men to think and navigate the waters of very complex emotions. He wanted to treat broken hearts and worked for the common good of those around him. Is it possible, then, that those who admire this man are capable of loving another person in the same way?

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