Juanita Bynum first preached the "No More Sheets" message at a T.D. Jakes conference. A video recorded there has "spawned a revolution among black women," according to Essence magazine. This excerpt from "No More Sheets" is reprinted with permission of Pneuma Life Publishing.

Yes, I am Prophetess Juanita Bynum, but I am not dead. I know you think that you cannot be anointed and still have a desire to sleep with someone. Some think that because I am anointed I never get frustrated. They think I never want to have some serious sex. They think I don't ever want to do something wrong, but let me tell you that the devil is a liar.

Every single day I struggle to crucify my flesh, and if you tell the truth, you would say the same thing. I know what it feels like to go to the mall or the laundromat and see fine men everywhere and ain't none of them your husband. Sometimes I wish I wasn't a prophetess. There's been times I wish I could give a man my pager number or my office phone number. No one has to know, but I can't get away with it. Because I've come too far to turn back now!


You control how a man treats you! Before you make the decision to begin embracing your new life style, I'm going to list a few do's and don'ts--for your dating pleasure.


1. If someone you have a strong attraction for, or vice versa, invites you to an evening event, make it a group thing.

2. Allow him to pursue you. Remember a real man will.

3. Always keep your first seven dates filled with educational and cultural things. It helps to stimulate the intellect and not the sex drive.

4. Allow the man to be the man in every sense of the word. Allow him to flourish in his own masculinity by opening doors, paying the check, etc.

5. While at breakfast, lunch, or dinner table, you tell him what you want on the menu and allow him to order for both of you. It's also a way for him to get his respect.

6. On the first date dress conservatively because, remember, the attention must not be drawn to any part of your physical body. When you dress naked, you leave nothing to the imagination and you cause him never to tap into the real person that you are!

7. Always insist on him meeting your family and friends....

8. If you are very serious about your interest in a person, before there is any talk of marriage always insist that he meet your pastor--shepherds can see farther than the sheep can....

9. If a man invites you to his home, for any reason at all--whether it's to see his trophies or his pet, help him decorate, or even to see the ashtray he made in the first grade--always take a friend. Remember, you're walking into his territory, where his spirit rules. That's just like a mouse walking to the throat of a lion thinking he's going to turn around and walk back out; mind you the lion hasn't eaten in a while.

10. If a woman invites you to her home, and it is early on during your season of dating, it is not unmasculine to say that you wouldn't feel comfortable doing that....

11. Places to go on the first seven dates should be chosen intelligently and not emotionally. Wonderful places to go are museums, Broadway plays like Miss Saigon, professional sporting events, rollerblading, and horseback riding. If you've never been horseback riding, there's an opportunity for him to take the lead in finding a stable for you both to learn how to ride. If you choose one of the above outings for first dates, I'm almost sure that there will be enough conversation between you to develop a strong bond of compatibility. I highly recommend that you go see the play Phantom of the Opera. It's a wonderful story about the masked man and the beautiful woman. In all essence, your date may be a masked man, so you would really want to see that one.

12. If it's just a friendship, on the first two or three dates the bill should be shared. If he is pursuing you, then he should pay the bill.

13. People have asked me questions about flowers. I believe the rose makes much too powerful a statement. Try and stay away from that flower until there is definitely love involved! If you are going to give flowers to a woman within the first seven dates or the first two months, let it be a bouquet of various flowers. If you're going to give flowers to a man, let it be a Have a Happy Day or Thinking of You coffee mug with a small bouquet inside the cup. A rose says, "I love you"--a bouquet says, "I'm thinking of you."


1. Never start talking about marriage on the first seven dates.

2. Never sit at home idle, waiting for him to call you.

3. If he comes to take you out and it's past 9:30, don't go because you know what he came for...and it's not for your knowledge of the Word. That's a call, girlfriend, and you know what kind of call it is...

4. Do not allow a potential mate to call your house after 12 midnight. Especially while lying in bed. Reclining brings on a different aura. Sit up and stay focused....

5. Never allow a man to blow his horn for you. Let him come to your door, ask for you properly, and escort you to the car. Anything could happen to you while coming out of the house. You need to feel like he's your protection.

6. Returning home from a date is a crucial time. The added pressure against you is the fact that you just fed the flesh; it is sluggish and off guard. Be careful not to become too touchy feely and sloppy agape. He does not have to come into your house. Just because he bought dinner doesn't mean you owe him a kiss, a pat, or a feel. All you owe him is a Thank You!

7. Don't allow a man to call you pet names early in the relationship....

8. Do not allow any man to indulge in sexual conversation on your first seven dates--like constantly making comments about the way you are built. That's called the BIG HYPE-UP to LAY YOU DOWN!

9. Never say "I love you" on the first seven dates. NEVER! NEVER! ...I'm a firm believer that you don't love a person until you know that person. If you say those three powerful words too soon, what you're actually saying is "I love you just the way you are." Therefore, he'll see no reason to change.

10. If you are dating and you have children from a previous relationship, I don't believe your child needs to be exposed to this man/woman until it has been confirmed and finalized that this is a potential relationship for marriage. There are extremely too many uncles in homes today--Uncle Earl, Uncle Charles, Uncle Bill, Uncle Whoever You Date--especially when you are an only child....

11. Never date a man who even looks as if he was going to hit you in the heat of a disagreement. Because later on in the relationship...HE WILL!...

12. Never discuss your financial status with a man early on in your relationship. And never, never, never, ever accept money from a man or ask him to assist you in your financial affairs. Remember he is not Jehovah-Jireh, your provider.

13. And last but not least...when you make a decision to have sex with any man that does not possess godly qualities, you WILL contract something that is deadlier than a disease. Remember, the Bible teaches that when a relationship is consummated, the two shall become one. Therefore, you must be careful as to what spirit is about to step inside of you. I have seen women have nervous breakdowns and even kill themselves behind a deadly relationship. NOW TELL ME IT'S ONLY SEX!!!

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