Funny Catholic Baptism Stories

Bow Your Heads and Hold Your Noses

Cara was perhaps the most guilty of daydreamers. Her daughter Lia was set to have the most precious of first sacraments in an heirloom gown, until suffering a severe reaction to her three month vaccinations received a day earlier. What resulted was a deluge of diarrhea no amount of incense could mask, and explosive sounds no church organ could camouflage.

Mom knew stomach issues could be a side effect, but overstretched her faith a bit, assuming all would go well.

“It happened right on the altar,” Cara said. “I couldn’t believe such loud noises could come from such a tiny baby.”

Fortunately their cleaning services were equally as powerful as the vaccine effects, and stains were eventually removed from the dress - now a bit more starchy for the next generation.

Double Booking

Other glitches in our momentous moment can occur when completely unforeseen circumstances change the game completely. For one unknowing family, all seemed perfect the morning of daughter Caitlin’s big day. The family entered their Massachusetts church expecting an intimate private ceremony, but instead was greeted instead by NBA basketball player Manute Bol, also holding a baptism that day. It was quite a juxtaposition from her Irish Catholic family, and the large crowd of Bol’s Sudanese relatives gathered altar-side.

“We thought it was just going to be us, so it was just really surprising,” mom MaryKate said. “We have a picture of him holding Caitlin in the church. He was 7’7.”