And we Americans are particularly gluttonous. In 1991, the average world resident consumed an average of 5.7 acres per year. Americans, however, took up 24 acres per person. (The United Kingdom consumed 13.3 acres per person.) The United States may be the greatest nation on earth, but we’re also by far the world’s biggest pigs. We cite our visible prosperity as proof of our virtue; we wear gluttony as a badge of our greatness.

The first step toward recognizing our collective gluttony is to own up to our individual sins. I’ll admit it--I’m a glutton. And as a step towards reform, I'm canceling today's workout. Instead, I will do something less self-indulgent, something that serves a higher purpose. Like start a group. I’ll call it Gluttons Anonymous, and extend an open invitation.

Not sure you belong? Say that, within reason, you need five pairs of shoes to get through your week. How many do you own? Fifteen pairs? Welcome to GA. Say you watch four hours of television a day, some 1,450 hours each year--about what the average American watches—including 28 hours a week of "The Young and the Restless" and "Blind Date." I welcome you to the club. How fast does your 8,000-pound SUV guzzle gas?

Wait, we’re going to run out of seats.