Is ABC becoming the All Bikini Corporation? The network's All-American Girl--as good an infomercial for the depilatory industry as you'll find--was preempted by war coverage this week. Never fear: "The Bachelor" sent the contestants off to a day-spa, where they showered communally, en textile.
Another developing leitmotif is what porn sites flack as "girl-on-girl action." After the "Survivor" girls bathed each other to good advantage last week, "Married By America," which won the week with a perfect five showerheads, showed it has what it takes to stay on the reality-show island.
"The bachelor party is not something to fear," said Tony, who obviously hadn't seen the video of himself kissing a stripper. Attention hungry, or maybe just hungry, Billie Jeanne licked whipped cream off of a female stripper and dirty-danced with Jill.
Next to MBA's stripfest, "Frat Life"'s tale of stripper-meets-virgin, virgin-loses-virginity seems almost quaint. One extra head for the focus on Earl's hickey, which, Tim said, looked as if he'd been "gnawed on by a rat."
The "Reunion" episode was a final review before the quiz: What happens when seven single strangers gather in a casino penthouse with unlimited alcohol? Even without credit for re-runs of sleaziest moments, a solid four heads.
The bachelor calls his mudbath and shower with five women "a boyhood fantasy." What happened to becoming an astronaut? The half-head for the bachelorettes who shucked their underwear on the Monte Carlo date.
Rob turning on Deena was pretty sleazy, but tactical. The shower head is for his observation that Heidi's swollen spider bite was "as large as one of her breasts."
For the canceled show's finale, Lorenzo Lamas offered a valedictory bit of epicurian commentary on one female contestant: "Do you like Mexican food, 'cause I've got a combo platter for you." We look forward to the pilot for "¿Quien Es Más Lamas?"
After all the bitchiness and drama, Brooke finally earned our respect when she depledged because she's sick of doing arts & crafts. Then she re-pledged.