Catholics are well known for enjoying laughing at themselves. There are very few people who like Catholic jokes more than Catholics, and social media has given Catholics the perfect way to share their ridiculous stories and humorous anecdotes with those who will understand. That understanding and ability to relate is essential for seeing the humor in many Catholic jokes. The story about the kid who dropped the Eucharist is a lot less funny if a person does not realize that Catholics cannot waste the Eucharist. The kid still had to eat it. Similarly, those who have never been to a Catholic High Mass might not see the humor in the antics of the little kid who knew he was supposed to sing when other people sang, but had never been to a High Mass, a Mass where just about everything is sung. These short, funny stories, however, have found a gleeful audience in the collective social media accounts of Catholics across the world. There are hundreds of amusing memes, stories and reaction gifs out there for Catholics, but here are a few gems.
Ash Wednesday Roulette
On Ash Wednesday, many Catholics make it a point to attend Mass. One of the most distinctive parts of a Catholic Ash Wednesday Mass is when the priest draws a cross on parishioners’ foreheads with ashes, though some crosses look better than others given how many people the priest draws on.
Catholic Fidget Toys
On Palm Sunday, the last Sunday of the Lenten season, Catholics receive palm branches to use in various rituals throughout Mass. Parishioners carry them in a ritual procession into church and use them in reenactments of Christ’s Passion. The palms are blessed and saved throughout Holy Week. Old palms are not to be thrown away like trash as they have been blessed. Instead, they are to be gathered and burned at the church. The ashes will then be used to mark the beginning of next year’s Lent on Ash Wednesday.
No One Noticed, Right?
Mass Happens More Than Twice a Year?
Catholic churches are always absolutely packed on Christmas and Easter. On one hand, this is not surprising since those are the two most important days on the Christian calendar. Most non-Catholics would assume Mass is more crowded simply because relatives who are visiting for the holidays came to Mass or that people prefer to take advantage of the unusual Mass times. Catholics, however, know that the influx of extra people is caused by all the C.E. Catholics coming out of the woodwork. To the bafflement of many Protestants, there is a huge population of Catholics who only attend Mass twice a year: on Christmas and Easter. These C.E. (Christmas and Easter) Catholics show up in force on those two days. As a result, Catholics, who are notorious for being habitually late to Mass, often try and get to Mass 30 minutes early to ensure they find a seat. Priests also often take advantage of the full house to remind C.E. Catholics that, yes, Mass takes place more than twice a year.
No Peace For You
There is a point in every Catholic Mass where Catholics give each other “the sign of peace.” This is when Catholics turn to those around them and say “peace be with you” while shaking the other person’s hand or, if they know the person well, exchanging a hug. Every Catholic, however, has experienced the moment where they reach out to give someone the sign of peace and the other person reaches for someone else. The first person is left hanging. Half the time the person that ignored someone comes back to shake the first person’s hand, but that does nothing to help the awkwardness of standing there with a hand extended to open air…or a sibling snickering, “rejection.”
A sense of humor is one of the most important things a person can have, and Catholics are rarely shy about using theirs. From puns to jokes to memes, Catholics love a good laugh, and they are aware that they themselves can be great fodder for jokes. Far from being insulted, many Catholic jokes are created and shared by Catholics. Just tell any Catholic the joke about the new priest who drank vodka or the kid who said “it sure is dark in here.” A laugh is almost guaranteed.