binoculars-blur-close-up-63901“Happy people see blessings where the rest see disappointment.” – Anonymous

One truth I’ve learned about life is that it is never perfect. Even if ten things are going your way, there always will be one or two areas of your life that are in need of improvement. Happy people focus on the ten things that are going well. Chronically unhappy people focus on the one or two areas of life that could be better.

The challenge is that our minds tend to drift toward the negative. For instance, if five people give you positive feedback about your job performance, and one person criticizes you, whose opinion will you likely focus on? The one critical person.

We all have a tendency to focus on the negative. That is because, as human beings, we are natural problem solvers. If there is an area of our lives that needs to improve, our brains will obsess about it until it is fixed.

The problem is that when we focus too much on our problems, we become like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. We are glum and sad, even though our life circumstances may be quite good.

So, to be happy, we have to train our brains to think differently. We have to train our minds to focus on what is going well in our lives. Below are some ways to find the blessings in your life, focus on them, and in turn, become a much happier person.

Find Blessings in Disappointments: Life can be disappointing. We may apply for a job and not get it. A relationship may fail. In these situations, we have to trust God and know that our disappointment may in fact be a blessing in disguise.

When we trust God, we trust that He has us in the right place, and that we are with the right people. So, if things don’t go the way we planned, we don’t become disappointed. We have faith that His plan for us is better than our own.

For instance, I have had my share of disappointments. I have had relationships that didn’t work out.  I have hoped for professional opportunities that didn’t come my way. But over the years I’ve learned that when something didn’t work out according to my plans, it was because God had something better in store for me. Now when my plans don’t work out, I don’t worry! I know that God is going to put me on an even better path in His own time.

Find Blessings in the Small Things: Enjoying great success is wonderful. But those Big Wins happen only on occasion. Most of life is very routine. And it can seem a little humdrum unless you learn to appreciate the small things.

In fact, we don’t realize how incredible the small things in life are until we are deprived of them. For instance, taking a walk outside and breathing in the fresh air is a wonderful blessing. But we may not appreciate the ability to take a simple stroll through nature, unless we are ill and confined to the house.

A well-cooked meal. A morning church service. A good night’s sleep in a comfortable bed. These are all small things. But imagine living life without them. When you consider that many people don’t even have these so-called small things, you will see them for the blessings that they truly are.

Find Blessings in the Journey: We tend to focus on the destination. We want to get to where we are going, and once we get there, only then will we be happy. However, so many blessings happen during the journey from Point A to Point B.

For instance, like all expectant mothers, when I was pregnant, I was focused on the end goal – a beautiful, healthy baby. And ultimately, I got one. But I have to say that the journey – being pregnant – was one of the best experiences of my life. I loved having another person growing inside of me. At the time, I was a city attorney, and I loved that when I appeared in court, she would kick like crazy when she heard the voice of a certain very loud judge. I loved knowing that my daughter was with me when I walked my dog, albeit inside my belly. The journey to having a baby was full of blessings for me.

Every journey is like being pregnant. It is special and exciting. There are memorable moments, and important things that you learn along the way. If you focus solely on the goal, you won’t enjoy the blessings that occur during the process of getting there.

So, pay close attention to what is happening to you as you journey toward your goals. You may meet new people who will change the way you see the world. You may encounter a difficult situation that forces you to mature. Every journey is rich with blessings that can benefit you.

We become happy when we learn to see the blessings in life instead of only its disappointments or imperfections. This week, consider what it is that you are focusing on. Are you focused on where your life is lacking? Or are you focused on all the good things that are happening in your life? By changing your focus, you truly can increase your happiness and change your life for the better.

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Books: “The Secrets to Success for the Working Mother” by Meerabelle Dey ( )

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