They say that the one constant in life is change. It is true. Good experiences come to an end, as do bad ones. So, learning how to move from those endings to new beginnings is a skill that all of us need. For example, I currently am experiencing the tough ending of being a full-time […]
As human beings, we have free will. That means that from the moment we are born, we are making choices, every moment of every day. And the choices that we make end up creating the life that we live.
So, if you want to create a great life, you have to take a hard look at your choices. And you have to consider that maybe some of your prior choices aren’t working. Then you have to have the courage to get rid of what doesn’t work and exchange it for what does.
Below are some aspects of your life that you might consider changing to make sure that you are creating your best life possible.
Your Relationships: No relationship is perfect. In every relationship, there will be conflict, on occasion. However, your relationships should, for the most part, bring something positive to your life. If they cause more aggravation than good, it is time to reconsider whether the relationship is worth continuing .
This is especially true in marriages. How many marriages linger on, while both spouses are miserable? I certainly am no fan of divorce. It is an emotionally painful process. And it is embarrassing. Publicly failing at your most important relationship is embarrassing. But if you simply cannot make the marriage work, why carry on?
I know couples who have lost decades of their lives to marriages that were toxic. It was only when they got to their 50s and the kids were out of the house, that they decided to call it a day. The problem is that they spent 20 to 30 years being needlessly unhappy.
There is no glory in remaining in relationships which are miserable. No one is going to pin a gold star on your lapel. No one is going to deem you to be a martyr and saint you. The only result of staying in a bad relationship is wasted time.
Better to end the relationships that don’t work in your life. Instead, give your full mental and emotional energy to the relationships that are good. The people who are kind and good to you are the ones who deserve your time and effort.
Your Habits: We aren’t who we say or think we are. We are what we do. And the most accurate barometer of who we are is what we do regularly. So, our habits matter.
We all have some bad habits. But as we get older, we should be working at reducing the number of those bad habits. For instance, children and teenagers tend to be messy. But as we become adults, we should no longer be messy at work or at home.
The problems with being messy is that you can never find anything. Worse yet, you never can relax because your surroundings are always in disarray. But the biggest problem with being messy is that messy people aren’t taken seriously. If you can’t make your bed each day or keep your personal space tidy, why should anyone think that you are capable of doing anything important? The unspoken stigma is that messy people are viewed as incompetent. So, if you are a messy person, you will want to break that bad habit.
Frankly, being messy is one of the more innocuous bad habits. There are worse ones. Some people overeat. Others drink too much alcohol. Others smoke cigarettes. The problem with those kinds of bad habits is not simply that they can hurt your health. Rather, they show the world that you lack self-control.
If you want to live a life of excellence, and you want to be perceived as being a competent, in control individual, then you want to work on eliminating your bad habits.
Your Stuff: In the Western world, we all have too much stuff. My husband and I plan to move when my daughter leaves for college, and I’ve been on a mission to reduce our belongings down to what we either “need” or “love” and nothing more. Otherwise, moving will a nightmare.
For example, my husband has 18 belts (I just counted them). For the life of me, I cannot understand the need for that many belts. But to be fair, I have an equivalent number of scarves. Neither one of us needs that many accessories. It is just silly.
I am a big believer in giving my stuff away. If I am not using it, then why should it just sit in my house? Let someone else enjoy it. I clear clothing out of my closet every couple of months. I believe that if an item of clothing doesn’t fit well and look good on me, it shouldn’t be in my closet.
I feel that way about stuff generally. If I can’t use it, and it doesn’t look good in my home, then why should it be here? You have to be ruthless when it comes to your belongings. Otherwise, your house is cluttered and your closets are a mess. Better to have fewer things, but have an organized and lovely home.
Sometimes, we have to trim away what isn’t serving us in order to create our best life possible. This week, consider getting rid of what is holding you back in life – bad relationships, poor habits and excess stuff. Eliminate what doesn’t work, and give your undivided attention to creating a beautiful life for yourself. You deserve it!
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