We talk about giving birth a lot in our household. As our
children watch my belly grow, Penny in particular asks for the details of my
other childbirth experiences. “Tell me the story of when I was born…of when
William was born,” she says. By now, she can recount many of the details–the
trip to the hospital, the fact that I vomited before William’s arrival, that
William had a very large head, that pushing with her was a lot easier. She has
a sense of the pain and difficulty of labor, and she has some sense of the
excitement and joy of bringing new life into the world.

In a famous encounter in John 3, Nicodemus, a religious
leader in the Jewish community, approaches Jesus with some questions. Jesus
tells him that he must be born of the Spirit, and Nicodemus responds with
incredulity: “How can a man be born when he is old? Surely he cannot enter a
second time into his mother’s womb!” When I’ve read Nicodemus’ questions in the
past, I’ve thought, “No, no, silly Nicodemus. Jesus is talking about a
spiritual birth. Isn’t that obvious?” But now, when I read the story of
Nicodemus talking to Jesus about being “born again,” my mind turns to this very
physical act of labor and delivery.

And I think Nicodemus is right–childbirth is hard enough the
first time. Penny, William, and I marvel all the time at the fact that they
once resided inside my body, and we certainly agree that it could never happen
again. When Jesus talks about being born again, he wants us to have a sense of
how impossible a second birth really is.

In our culture, the term “born-again Christian” has come to signify a specific religious experience, a moment in time in which a person converts in dramatic fashion to Christianity. These conversions certainly happen, and yet people also become Christians through slow years of study and inquiry, through long and wandering journeys closer to the heart of God, through patient and steadfast obedience in a church context. There’s the quick and dramatic birth. And there’s the slow and steady labor. And probably everything in between. Yet in every case, a new birth happens. A new life is brought into the world. This is radical, messy, dangerous, sacred stuff, this new life in the Spirit.

So what’s the answer? How can a man, or woman, be born again? Jesus’ response might surprise us. Only by the Spirit of God. Not by human effort. Not by deciding to change his or her ways. This passage in John doesn’t only bring with it the phrase “born again,” but also the famous verse, John 3:16: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Being born again involves belief in Jesus, which means being open to the Spirit’s work in her or his life, being open to the gift of new life. Just as a newborn baby has no choice in being born, so too a spiritual birth requires radical dependence upon God.

So what must you do to be born again? Admit that you are dependent upon God for all that you need. Believe in the one God has sent. And ask the Spirit to do the messy, dangerous, exhilarating work of bringing forth new life.