The playwright Jules Renard wrote, “The only man who is really free
is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving
any excuse.”
By that definition, are you free? Few of us are because
we feel guilty when we draw boundaries with people in order to focus
on what’s important. That’s a problem. It will be impossible to
maintain your priorities and experience margin in your schedule until
you get comfortable saying a simple word: no. No excuses, no
rainchecks, no babbling about when you might be able to fit it in—just
plain no.
Why do we find that so hard as Christians? Why is it so
difficult to say no? Probably because on some level we feel that God
has called us to be sweet and humble. And we think that sweet,
humble people don’t deny requests for help and definitely don’t turn
down invitations to dinner. If this is your struggle, I can’t help but
point you toward the example of Christ. Yes, He did spend a lot of His
time ministering to people—healing the sick, teaching in the
synagogues, and sharing the gospel with prostitutes and tax collectors.
Yes, He did the ministry thing, and He did it quite well, but He also
said no to ministry on occasion.
Take the last supper, for instance. On the night before He was
to leave this world, we see Jesus spending time with His disciples. He
had only a little time left—just a few hours in which to heal the sick,
raise the dead, and do ministry—but He didn’t spend His final
moments that way. He said no to that aspect of His work with people
because He knew it was important for Him to be with His disciples at
that time. There were also times when Jesus would withdraw from
even the twelve disciples just to spend time alone praying, reflecting,
and even enjoying nature. In those moments, Jesus was saying no to all
the other opportunites He had so He could step back and smell the
roses.
Jesus was willing to say no in order to create some margin in
His life. Are you? Are you willing to, perhaps, disappoint people when
you say no so that you can keep the main thing the main thing?