codep     When I first realized I was a codependent, one of the things that I began to understand was that I lived my life playing the victim.  Everything was always happening TO me, people were always doing harm to me, and I was completely innocent, and the list could go on forever.  I victimized myself, and I wallowed in every bad emotion I had.  Doing this made me lose sight of the good things in life.

Today, I’d like everyone to grab a pen and paper so that we can make gratitude lists.  This is one of the tools that helps me feel good about myself and my life, and it helped reframe the misery I was putting myself in.

When I was miserable and wallowing in self-pity and self-loathing, everything seemed like a direct attack to me, and everything was going to ruin my life.  There was no getting over something or moving on from it.  There was no silver lining.  Creating a gratitude list has required me to look for the silver lining in every situation, and to see that even though really negative shit happens in our life, it is how we perceive it that makes the difference.

Start making your gratitude list now, and see if you can’t add to it a bit during the day.  Before you go to sleep tonight, finish adding whatever you would like.  Read it aloud to yourself, or to a friend if you have one you feel comfortable doing so with.

Don’t be afraid to add “bad” things to your list.  For example, maybe you missed your bus and were frustrated early on, and then later in the day something happened that made you realize you were supposed to miss that bus.  Even if you did just miss your bus, and you were late with nothing to make up for it later…add it to your list!  You may not be grateful for it now, but just adding it to the list can attach positive emotions to it and make you feel better about it!

“If you want to find happiness, find gratitude.”- Steve Maraboli

Sherry Gaba, LCSW, Radio Host, Certified Transformation Coach and author of  the award winning book, The Law of Sobriety:Attracting Positive Energy for a Powerful Recovery and Ecourse www.wakeuprecovery.com. www.sherrygaba.com sherry@sgabatherapy.com.  Find out if you are #codependent. Take my quiz.  http://sherrygaba.com/co-dependency-quiz/

More from Beliefnet and our partners
previous posts

Boundaries are similar to the rules that govern how a person interacts with the world around them. People with no boundaries do not follow typical relationship rules when interacting with people in their personal and professional lives. They may overshare personal information or not share anything, or they may constantly take advantage of others or […]

Twelve step programs have helped millions of adults who felt like their life was spinning out of control. Even if you’re not addicted to alcohol or gambling, their philosophy may help you when external events make your situation seem unmanageable. Maybe your life has been disrupted by health issues or job loss. Maybe your relationships are strained, […]

Dating is an integral part of socialization for single adults of all ages. The sudden escalation and impact of coronavirus around the world have created a challenge for those who are just starting in a relationship or those who perhaps have finally made the decision to start dating again. There are some very important issues […]

Four Tips For Addicts During The Coronavirus Everyone is struggling to develop new skills and options for managing day to day life in these trying times. The unknown factors and the known issues with the coronavirus create a lot of stress, challenges, and uncertainty about what to do. Most group activities throughout the country, and […]