codep     When I first realized I was a codependent, one of the things that I began to understand was that I lived my life playing the victim.  Everything was always happening TO me, people were always doing harm to me, and I was completely innocent, and the list could go on forever.  I victimized myself, and I wallowed in every bad emotion I had.  Doing this made me lose sight of the good things in life.

Today, I’d like everyone to grab a pen and paper so that we can make gratitude lists.  This is one of the tools that helps me feel good about myself and my life, and it helped reframe the misery I was putting myself in.

When I was miserable and wallowing in self-pity and self-loathing, everything seemed like a direct attack to me, and everything was going to ruin my life.  There was no getting over something or moving on from it.  There was no silver lining.  Creating a gratitude list has required me to look for the silver lining in every situation, and to see that even though really negative shit happens in our life, it is how we perceive it that makes the difference.

Start making your gratitude list now, and see if you can’t add to it a bit during the day.  Before you go to sleep tonight, finish adding whatever you would like.  Read it aloud to yourself, or to a friend if you have one you feel comfortable doing so with.

Don’t be afraid to add “bad” things to your list.  For example, maybe you missed your bus and were frustrated early on, and then later in the day something happened that made you realize you were supposed to miss that bus.  Even if you did just miss your bus, and you were late with nothing to make up for it later…add it to your list!  You may not be grateful for it now, but just adding it to the list can attach positive emotions to it and make you feel better about it!

“If you want to find happiness, find gratitude.”- Steve Maraboli

Sherry Gaba, LCSW, Radio Host, Certified Transformation Coach and author of  the award winning book, The Law of Sobriety:Attracting Positive Energy for a Powerful Recovery and Ecourse www.wakeuprecovery.com. www.sherrygaba.com sherry@sgabatherapy.com.  Find out if you are #codependent. Take my quiz.  http://sherrygaba.com/co-dependency-quiz/

More from Beliefnet and our partners
previous posts

“The lover says, I cannot love anyone else, I cannot give up loving, I cannot give up this love, for it would be the death of me and I would die of love.”   Soren Kierkegaard in Works of Love Many people have a fear of abandonment, but love addicts are terrified of it. They also […]

Most of the time, love addicts are very susceptible to dating anyone who they are attracted to and who shows some interest in them. Because they are love addicts and feel they need romantic love to be happy, they will settle for less than what they want. They will allow themselves to keep dating someone […]

It is not uncommon to enter into a relationship with someone who seems like Mr. or Mrs. Right during the dating phase only to find out they have an addiction problem once you are married or living together as partners. Unfortunately, many addicts are experts at hiding their addictive behaviors. Addictions to pornography, sex, shopping, gambling, and work are much easier […]

In many codependent relationships, addiction is part of the relationship. In Ramona M. Asher’s book “Women With Alcoholic Husbands: Ambivalence and the Trap of Codependency,” the issue of the interactive nature of the relationship, the effects of the addiction and the behavior of the codependent are explored. One of the factors this book, which is written from the interviews […]